Sky Burning Red
by Theatricals
Summary: "You will never stop reaching for more, Ben Solo." She sought him out once. After a month of running, Rey intends to break the bond. Kylo Ren, immersed in the dark, knows that it's his only chance to find her.
1. it's dark inside

**Author's Note:** If you've read/reviewed this story before and wonder why the title is different and where the chapters have gone, well... the chapters have been temporarily deleted in favor of me adding onto and fixing up certain points that will provide plot development in later scenes, and the title has been altered to better fit my vision of this fic. This story is a labor of love coming straight off of the tail-end of The Last Jedi, so it focuses on topics that we got glimpses of within the film.

Like I stated before, this is a slow-burn, so you won't get all of the fireworks all at once, but I personally prefer that-both in writing and reading. Jump into the action too quickly, and all the storytelling seems to fade into the background. Please know that I am not writing this as a probable sequel to TLJ, since I am not the best at theorizing. Not saying that everything happening here is unrealistic, but rather, I'm not basing my writing off of any assumptions off of what might happen in episode IX. Really, it's just a fic that delves into the psychological aspect of Star Wars (and specifically Rey and Kylo's relationship).

In time, all chapters up to 6 will be reposted with the added/edited content, and the story will continue on from there. Please enjoy the story, and maybe leave a review! It's very much appreciated. (:

* * *

 ** _it's dark inside_**

It was the dark from which he had come, and the dark in which she returned to.

Irony, it felt like. Was it days or hours since she had last slept? Since she last felt the darkness of despair crawling down her back? As she sat down on one of the small bed of blankets laid out specifically for her, she couldn't have been able to tell.

And what of the remainder of the Resistance? It was difficult for her to even figure out how many of them were left. She only remembered leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes, reaching out through the Force for… something. But the loss of her master, no matter how short their time together had actually been, was still a loss she wasn't quite ready to acknowledge.

He had gone in peace, and Leia had felt it as well. It was a reassurance that kept Rey from grieving in the same way that she had Han. But that had happened so suddenly, that she hadn't been able to think about it. She hadn't been able to think about a lot of it. Every moment was a split-second decision for her. When would she have ever been able to choose?

The sudden feeling of falling made her jolt back to the present, her vision blurry as she glanced around, her former thoughts forgotten and her back hurting from remaining in the same position for so long. Her senses were fuzzy, bringing back the reality that she had just been dealt physical trauma that she hadn't even bothered to treat yet. The cut on her arm was the source of the blood streaks trailing down to her elbow, but barely did she feel any noticeable injury.

She drifted off with vacant memory of a motherly presence settling her down more comfortably beneath a thin blanket. Exhaustion weighed heavily on her mind, but there was more. Certainly more…

Rey opened her eyes to a dark room that was most definitely not the one she had fallen asleep in. Had she not grasped the force so closely, she might have mistaken it for a dream—or even a nightmare. But even then, it was difficult for her to grasp just what she was seeing when she pressed her hand against the wall.

It stabilized her somewhat, but the dizziness that overtook her suddenly was not something she could prepare herself for, and she felt her arm go out from under her and let out a soft breath when her back hit the hard cot. It was still beneath her, but the blanket that had been placed so gently over her was pushed to the side, thrown away like it was unwanted.

When out of the darkness she saw a thin line of red, the pieces began to form inside of her head. Nausea overtook her quickly, but not by her own doing, and try as she might, she still could not conjure up the strength to lift her body from where it lay prone in a place she was unfamiliar with. But this place… it wasn't actually real, was it? She was supposedly still in the _Falcon_.

"Ben," she breathed, her voice coming out in a rough croak as she tried to collect herself. She grasped at her physical being and attempted to pull away, separate herself from how he currently felt: the weakness that came not from injury or illness, but a dark state of mind that continued to grasp at her with vengeance. She would never have sought it willingly. But now it was blinding, and the moment she spoke his name, she felt it cover her.

"Here," Rey said, as though the words would mean anything as they slowly began to register with her. Where was he? "Ben."

She couldn't see him in the dark, but she knew the moment his manifestation appeared in front of her. It was a demanding, haunting presence that she knew well enough. But the hollowness of it all was what held her back from saying more. Now, they had nothing left to say to one another, and the looks that they had given one another right before she had closed that door was enough to prove it.

"I'm still here." His voice was deep and emotionless, an extreme contrast to his outbursts earlier. The ones that had her pulling away from him for good. The surge of emotions she had felt then was subdued, replaced a coldness she would never dare reach for. Her need for answers, her desperation for the life that she thought was possible for him… for _them_ …

"I'm _always_ _here_."

Clear and demanding, but it was Ben. And no matter where this all may have started, he was not ready to leave.

Not _unable_ , but not _ready_.

As the ghost of a hand brushed against hers, the scene faded away and she was left in the darkness of the _Millennium Falcon_ , turning her face inward until she let the tears begin to fall for the boy she had failed to save.

* * *

Rey couldn't have been out for long, but it was enough to pull her out of the slumber that she so desperately clung to. Now, she clung to herself.

Sit and take a breath. It was something she started with every day, and something she would continue to do to keep from counting the days instead. The uneven scratch marks in the corner beside her pile of blankets was proof of just how much she had succeeded. A continuous habit, but not one she able to break so easily when it was one of the only things keeping her thoughts in order.

But before, she had been waiting for her parents. Or maybe she had just been waiting for _something_ to break her from the life she had been living faithfully for… for…

How long had it been?

She had counted for so long, scratching those marks into her head as much as she had against the wall of her AT-AT. A few days meant very little when trying to recall the number, but now, she couldn't for the life of her give a straight answer. Back then, it had meant so much to her, to know how many days had past and how long she had been able to survive. It was an accomplishment of sorts, a way for her to record her strengths as she managed to make a living.

But it wasn't living, she realized, and that was when she stopped counting. Except she hadn't.

Now she was counting her fingers, something she had been told helps with restlessness. But there was never a reason she shouldn't, when her days were now filled with fulfilling orders and providing her support in any way she could. Truthfully, anyone could have taken her place and nothing would change. Rey wanted to think that her position was set and that the reliance on her came from a place of trust.

 _"Do not think too highly of yourself._ "

When was the last time she had heard him so clearly? That he allowed his voice to carry into her surroundings, and in turn, into her thoughts as well? Staring at him from aboard the _Millenium Falcon_ had told her all that she needed to know: he was conflicted, held down by the weight of every action that had led to that point. But he had made his choice, and he knew it, putting his strengths towards justifying what could have just as easily been a move that turned the tides in their favor.

Her face had remained stony through the brief exchange, but his look of defeat and hers of indifference could not have matched what they currently knew to be true: the First Order held the power, and the Resistance was right to fear them.

 _"Every one of you is expendable. You're lying to yourself if you think otherwise."_

This was war. It was something she had overheard when everyone had settled down with their rations. Personal conflicts that held no real place in their fight. Had it not been for General Organa, those people fighting for them might have easily fought _against_ them. Leia made it clear that every single one of them had a role to play, and that their importance was only as great as they believed themselves to be.

"We carry the light of the galaxy," Rey said back, her voice steady as her fingers twisted themselves in her clothing. He stared back at her, less than a few yards away, and could have easily pointed out her tick. But he did not. His expression didn't change, and Rey knew that should she leave the silence to him, they would both be left with nothing. "…You could have joined us, you know. Done the right thing."

 _"The right thing?"_ Kylo echoed, turning on his heel as he let out a breath and lifted his chin high. _"It must be nice, to do what you like and assume you're in the right."_

"We're fighting for something bigger. Something outside of us," she insisted, moving to stand, but something held her back. She thought it to be physical at first, and she moved her arm to rid herself of the entanglement, but her movement was halted as well. Her eyes were dark as she spun back to him, a nervous act that took on the look of caution. Even as his steps brought him closer, she couldn't have flinched, with her limbs frozen and her mind too unfocused to break herself away.

A show of fear in one sense, but a purposeful deed in another.

 _"You could have truly fought for something bigger. I wished to build an empire—a powerful force that the galaxy could rely on."_ Rey finally began to move when he drew into her space, coming into the dim light that the open door allowed them. Before, she could see him: the semblance of a lost boy unsure of where to go and what would get him what he truly aspired for. Now, he gave her nothing but a blank stare, with no reminder of the moment they shared around the fire. _"…But you denied it, denied me, in favor of a cause you have no knowledge of."_

It was a jab she couldn't ignore. She stood up abruptly, but Kylo didn't even think to move back. A foot of space separated them, but she could barely feel him. Knowing when a threat was nearby was a trait needed in order to keep yourself safe, but the space he filled felt empty, with no real proof of his existence besides what she could see. It felt like she might pass right through him, should she take another step forward. But he would not allow that, with his brown eyes boring into hers.

"You asked too much from me," she finally exhaled, unclenching her fists as she let the negative emotions wash away from her. His slight twitch was the first and only sign of him being here, and she knew it had to do with her defiance. But to her, it was no longer defiance: it was resigning to a truth that she still hoped to change. Her hand moved forward without even thinking, and when she rested it where his arm would be, she could hide her surprise when she actually felt something solid. Something solid and clear.

Rey let out a sound between a cough and a sigh, unable to hold on for more than a moment. It was a moment that seemed to last forever, but she knew where she was, and she wasn't about to lose herself. "You will never stop reaching for more, Ben Solo."

She stepped back, leaving him seething under his cloak and the masks he wore, with his promises lingering just behind her.


	2. i don't wanna meet you nowhere

**Author's Note:** If you are confused as to why some chapters have been deleted, I ask that you read my author's note on the first chapter. That should clear some things up. (: Please leave a review if you like the story! Also, a quick note, but if you have any post-TLJ reylo stories, feel free to link me. I'd love to read them. :3 **  
**

* * *

 ** _i don't wanna meet you nowhere_**

"Rey! Come on, Rey!"

She couldn't remember what was going on, but if the pounding in her head was anything to go off of, she would much rather forget everything that had happened the night before.

Accepting the drinks that Poe offered, rattling off her feelings as if they were the biggest struggle she had to work through. The other pilots that joined them were no better, laughing at the stories until they had drank themselves into oblivion. There were too many reasons for her to go there herself, but Poe had kept her stable, if only just by being someone to watch out for her as she emptied her glass. She hadn't even participated in the fun. Rather, her eyes remained locked onto the corner of the room, her mind playing tricks on her when she thought she might see _him_.

There wasn't much else for her to remember. The rest of the night was fuzzy, but she could just recall collapsing into her "bed" and not even bothering to cover herself before falling asleep. Feeling out with her fingertips, she caught the edge of the blanket that had been graciously placed over her. Pristine, untouched—obviously not done by her. General Organa was too good to her—the whole crew, actually. She had let them splurge without interruption, and made sure Rey was comfortable after she had let her better senses go.

The experiences that she relived in her dreams had become almost like a routine, with a familiar tone to them that she thought might fade away over time. The fire surrounding her as the walls were torn down, and his hand outstretched towards hers—not a nightmare, but a memory that would not stand to leave her be. From the shadows under her eyes, she knew it wasn't going to simply die away.

Thirty-three days, and it would not leave her.

Her body ached, and she couldn't see straight, which made it difficult to make out Finn's expression as he shook her shoulders to wake her. Had she been fully aware, she would have been able to notice the concern slowly developing into panic when she didn't immediately respond. But ultimately, her gaze turned to the side, taking in her quarters that were barely the size of a large broom closet. Was this where she crashed hard last night?

"Rey, are you with me?"

She could finally make out his words, but she wasn't sure they were his entirely. There was another voice whispering the same thing in her ear, barely audible but able to be picked up regardless. But right now, her grasp on the Force was muddy at best. No one had warned her about that, but maybe she should have known. Beyond the murmurings, she could make out nothing else, leaving her with a peace that bordered on emptiness.

"I'm here." The words echoed in her ears, and she held a palm to her head as she brought herself into a sitting position. The movement nearly caught her off-balance and she felt nausea nearly take over her. She was more than tempted to just lie back down. Finn caught onto this fairly quickly, and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to settle her before she fell.

Rey patted his hand appreciatively before dropping her own. "Sorry," she said, blinking away sleep and wincing when the brightness of the room finally caught up to her. It brought with it a strange sense of déjà vu, but also a mystery of just where they actually were and what they were doing now. The _Millenium Falcon_ , yes, but where in the galaxy? General Organa had spoken about possible planets within reach, but nothing solid.

"You okay?" he asked, and the simply question was so… normal. Should he have phrased it differently, she might have said something more. But now wasn't the time, especially with the light burning her retinas.

"Yeah, yeah," she said, her voice thick as she brought herself to her feet. But no sooner had she stood up did she waver. Not drastically, but enough for Finn to provide his cautious support.

"Rey, you can't do stuff like that to me. I might just have a heart attack," Finn said, adjusting his sleeve as he let out a harsh sigh. Of course he would say that—Finn was the type to stay away from the type of "fun" that might impair him in any way. Carefully, he helped her stand up straight, and she felt a little more stable as the remnants of sleep finally began to leave her. "I can't worry about you disappearing. We all got a lot on our minds, but we gotta keep ourselves together, right?"

Rey had seen only his back last night, as he sat with Rose at her bedside. She was awake, but the injuries she received could not be treated with the same luxury as other fighters. An induced coma kept her stable for a long while, and only now was she awake and starting to recover. But Rey couldn't be sure how far those injuries stretched. The guilt that swept through her was unable to be pushed away. Even now, Finn was acting in the interest of everyone else. She couldn't understand just how much he must be worrying now, and with General Organa…

"Leia," she said. Yes, they needed to keep themselves together, but Rey was more concerned with the here and the now—that included the crew, and the general. "Is she… okay? Upset?" It might have only been hours since they last talked, but a lot could happen in that amount of time, and she knew first-hand that Leia tried to stay away from the kind of stress-relief that Poe and his cohorts participated in. Rey had, too, until last night. "…Where are we?"

Finn gave a small shrug. "No clue. No one's told me anything yet. Poe just woke me up and told me to check on you."

By now, Rey could hear the rustling of people moving together from their quarters, and the voices gradually became louder as everyone got up to face what the day brought. It couldn't have been anything good, if the negative energy she felt coming from the hall was anything to go by. Once she was able to lean against the doorway, Finn moved away to take care of his own duties, leaving her alone.

When Rey boarded the _Falcon_ after… everything, the devastation was hard to comprehend, and she was given a brief flashback to when they all gathered together in the same space, unsure of where to turn. Nearly all of their fleet had been destroyed, leaving them with less than thirty people to the Resistance. They might have allies elsewhere, but their attempts to contact them on Crait had gone nowhere, and it showed that they were either unable or unwilling to lend their support. Things had been quiet for a while, so they might just be more willing to step out into the light.

Or, their allies could sense their demise and in turn, surrender to the First Order.

Right now, they were truly alone, but Rey wasn't willing to accept that. It was too unbelievable.

She ran her fingers through her hair, wishing that her headache could leave her the same way her common sense had the night before. Now was not the time for her to deal with this. She didn't want to think of Leia's eyes following her as she disappeared into her quarters, or someone _else's_ eyes that seemed far too determined to remain on her at all times.

The voice calling to her sounded like a faint echo, but it came from only a few feet away. Leia sat on one of the few benches, a cane supporting her. To Rey, she looked frail, but it was likely from the emotional strain and trauma that they had all been put through. It pained Rey to know that there was nothing they could do that would bring them peace.

 _"Fugitives."_

The voice surprised her, snapping her attention behind her, but there was no one there. He wasn't there, and she knew him to be the only one able to communicate with her in such a way. So why then, could she not…?

Force, whatever Poe gave her had been strong.

 _"Trying to drink away your guilt? I think you'll have to try a little harder than that."_ She could almost hear his sneer, but it made her feel just a bit better to know that he paid enough attention to her to know she couldn't be swayed by his ideals. That didn't mean he had good timing, though.

"Go away," she muttered under her breath, knowing she would be labeled as crazy should she start talking to the wall. "I'm not dealing with you right now."

 _"Dealing with me,"_ he replied, sounding thoroughly unimpressed. _"Is that what you've been doing?"_

"Rey," she heard again, just as she was about to open her mouth to reply. This time it was clear and strong, and coming from someone she could see. Leia was patting the spot beside her, a gesture she often made when they needed to speak to one another. Looking out the glass window and seeing stars moving past, it was near impossible to tell how long they had been traveling, or where they were, so she wouldn't be getting that answer any time soon.

She glared at the hazy apparition of Kylo.

"Sorry, General," she apologized, slipping back into formality without thinking. She might have called her Leia in private, but calling a person by their first name suggested a very close relationship. Having Kylo Ren standing only feet away made her all the more aware of what it meant, and she put up as many walls to block him from it.

Leia might have wanted to object to the use of her title, but thankfully, she must have realized the feeling that was causing conflict within Rey. No word had been spoken by Rey about her connection with her son, and while Leia could have probably reached out and discovered it for herself, she had yet to do so. It puzzled Rey from the moment she sat with the general, broken lightsaber sitting in her lap, but she felt safer knowing that she still had some secrets to keep. No one had to know.

It would do no use to tell anyone, Leia especially. It might bring her hopes up, or it might insert fear into the heart of the Resistance that would further weaken them. Rey kept that wall there for everyone's safety, but that didn't mean she did not perform her duties. Followed by her prompting, she walked over and sat down beside Leia. Their shoulders unintentionally brushed one another's when she once again lost her sense of balance, but the strong woman beside her could bare it. They all had to.

"I'm sorry," Rey whispered, unable to keep the words to herself. Apologies should have been reserved for a time when they were warranted, but sitting beside the woman who was the closest thing to a mother she would ever had, she couldn't help it. Disappointment was not something she could handle.

 _"Sorry for your betrayal of those you call your allies?"_ Kylo prompted, and she could feel his anger brewing just below the surface.

"What for?" Leia responded, looking baffled. But Rey couldn't even look her in the eye and give her an honest answer. What _was_ she sorry for? Not trying hard enough? Messing around in the dead of night when the whole of the Resistance still stood on the edge of a cliff? Communing with her son without even telling her? "Rey, what are you sorry for?"

The name was on her lips, ready to be spoken, but she couldn't. Rey knew that Luke had spoken to his sister before he died, and she had confirmed how she felt about her son: that he was too far gone. Luke may have objected, but Leia was at peace with it. Maybe that was what hurt even more. It was easy to be convinced of something so farfetched if someone else felt the same way. But someone so much stronger than her… she had given up and accepted what seemed to be the inevitable. Rey was lost in something else entirely.

"We're scattered," Rey finally breathed. It was the only answer she was going to give. She hated herself, hated the remnants of the hangover that left her far more emotionally vulnerable than she normally would be. Luke was the only one to know the lengths she had gone to save his fallen nephew, and he was gone. "Where are we going? How are we going to recover from this?"

 _We can't_.

Kylo picked up on those feelings quickly, snatching them before she could think to hide them. _"It's that optimism that will trap you. The light side, that endless supply of hope. It keeps you from seeing the truth."_

Pessimism was not something she could live with. Rey had spent her life remaining optimistic that someone would come back for her, that she might live a better life. But it hadn't happened the way she had expected, and some might wonder if she had jumped from one hell to another. Maybe it was time to face reality. They could hope to survive, and keep moving. But that was not living, and it was imperative that she knew that.

She almost jumped at the feeling of a hand on her cheek, holding her steady as she felt herself shaking. At first, she thought it to be someone else—it would have been even worse if it had been. She had stayed frozen to the spot as a million different scenarios flashed into her head. Leia was force-sensitive, she knew. She felt Luke go, and she must have felt the conflict in Rey now. But her thoughts were her own, and it was one of the first times she wished that wasn't the case.

"We won't have all the answers right away," Leia said, and Rey could sense her struggle with the words—but with them came a strong resolution. To do what, she couldn't be sure. But Leia must have known. "But right now, we just have to take the right steps. We will find a new base. If we need to, make a new one. The Resistance is not dead. We're all still here. We've made it this far." Leia let her hand fall and held onto Rey's.

She had to resist the urge to let a tear slip down her cheek at the feeling. It had been a month. She should have been able to stuff such feelings down by now. "I guess you don't need me having an emotional breakdown," Rey laughed, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I'm done with emotional speeches," the General suddenly said, and Rey let out another soft, choked laugh that prompted her to look into the eyes of the woman beside her. "They require confidence that I don't always have. It takes a lot to fight in a losing battle—but there is a reason we don't call it a lost cause. Because we still _do_ believe in something." Leia squeezed her hand tightly. "It's different for everyone, but it's _something_."

Rey wiped her eye with her free hand, letting her face break out into a smile. It was hard to feel hopeful in these circumstances, but somehow, Leia Organa could keep her head up. Rey could only hope that she could do the same.

"You know, you're not so bad with the emotional speeches," Rey laughed, and Leia responded in turn, pinching her arm in amusement. They had reached a stalemate in their fight against what exactly was worth fighting _for_. But right now, it was all they could do to keep from falling. Rey, the last Jedi, and Leia, the last head of the Resistance—they weren't the only ones fighting. But at least they could find this small bit of light in such a dark place.

"I do try, you know," Leia responded, with a cockiness that made Rey feel at home. It was humor and light that kept them from falling into pits of despair. "But I don't think you need any more of Poe's natural _remedy_ to help keep your emotions in check."

She had been waiting for that, and her ears burned with embarrassment as she tried to turn away to hide her face. "I don't think I'll be having a repeat performance of that anytime soon," she reassured her, grimacing.

"I should hope not."

"General?" A voice brought them out of their moment, but it was the violent shaking beneath their feet that jolted them forward and out of the safe space they had surrounded themselves with. All of the optimism that they shared together was immediately covered by concern and panic. "General, we—"

No further words could be spoken before those on board nearly lost their footing entirely. This wasn't normal. Even stopping to check the ship hadn't exposed any issues that could cause something like this. The _Millenium Falcon_ could definitely make it through a lot, but it wasn't indestructible. Now, the same with their physical injuries, the high was wearing off, and they were left in a deep hole that they couldn't dig themselves out of.

Rey was ready to help Leia at any given moment, but her attention was split three ways: Finn, who was helping Rose with Poe right alongside him, BB-8, whose alarmed beeps were far too specific to be simply panic, and…

The noise around her seemed to vanish, leaving behind a low hum which only had the purpose of reminding her that she wasn't alone where she stood. But she might as well been, since she couldn't see the things the Force was telling her was there. The things she would have normally been able to see.

 _"You're running like cowards, afraid to face your fate with dignity."_

His voice was deep and controlled, a far cry from his last plea on the _Supremacy_ , but she of all people knew that tone didn't necessarily match what his eyes could not hide. Turning in every direction, she could not see where he stood now, despite hearing the voice as clearly as she had heard those around her. His presence wouldn't have gone unnoticed, his large physique and imposing posture leaving little to be missed.

 _"You align yourselves with them out of some strange sense of obligation,_ " he growled, and she turned once more. _"I can sense your panic, not theirs. But you are with them, and I know you're determined to hide. Your time's running out._ "

She wanted to shoot back that he was the one who was hiding—not showing his true self, and spewing hatred that hid his true outrage and feeling of rejection.

"You're hiding yourself from me," Rey said, having to take a guess at his location. For a moment, she saw a flicker of darkness in the doorway of her quarters, but it was gone in a second, and she was left confused and more unsettled than she wanted to admit. She didn't know much about this bond… but every time they had spoken, they could pinpoint the other with relative ease—even transfer physical energy. But the physical restrictions placed on her were now gone, yet not even his shadow was there to suggest she was speaking to anyone other than herself.

A sharp sense of dread raced through her, a sudden but rightful reminder that this was not the time to do this. With more effort than should have been necessary, she ripped herself away from the connection, feeling the remnants of his presence even though she had yet to see him. He was here, but not… and she was left wondering if she had any control over any of it.

"We have to land here," Connix said, and Rey just caught General Leia as she leaned over the hologram. The map that was displayed was small and barely detailed, leaving one to wonder if it was even reliable.

But Poe was quick to join them, and with the certainty that could only come with experience, he pressed his finger against an area surrounded by little in the way of other planets.

"Yemaya, neutral ground. We can land there and build a temporary base—check the _Falcon_ and get some supplies." He glanced up at Rey, and she suddenly felt lost. It had been a routine, to land, make sure everyone was alright, and pool together their resources so that they could head out again. What was different now was beyond her, but something she could still sense.

The _Falcon_ was silent, outside of the vibrations and jolts that kept them from contemplating for too long. Eventually, Leia lifted her head, addressing them all with one single declaration:

"We land, and work with what we can." She didn't sound overly confident or certain, but when Leia Organa made an order, it would be foolish to ignore it. With that, everyone split up into different directions, taking their positions in order to ensure that they would land safely. It was all they could do at this point, but the small sliver of hope was still there for many of them, and Rey knew it.

Although Rey couldn't see him, she knew he was there. He didn't say anything right away, and she could have believed that the commotion and her flare of hope made him retreat in defeat. But that was not to be. "We have not fallen," she said, her voice low but sharp and intent.

 _"…But you will."_


	3. not this time

**Author's Note:** Let it be known that writing from Kylo Ren's POV is a lot more difficult than I expected. I give fanfic writers mad props, because I've seen them delve into his mind impressively while keeping him in character. It's something I've really tried to do, so I hope I've succeeded.

Also, I did want to point out that this will be a slow-burn. There are so many great fanfics that I will never be able to match, but there are also many who throw the two characters together too quickly for my liking-and I feel it's a little too unrealistic. So alongside exploring reylo, I will also be exploring the characters themselves as well. (: But have no fear-they and their relationship are the main focus of this fic.

I'm still hoping to get the first six chapters reposted soon, but I've been a bit busier, so it might take a little longer to edit them. Thanks for being patient! Also, reviews are greatly appreciated. (:

Now onto the chapter~

* * *

 ** _not this time  
_**

His grip on his lightsaber hadn't wavered since they left the planet of Crait. If it was even possible, it had gotten stronger—almost to a point where with a slight twitch of his fingers, it might just shatter into a million pieces. It would be fitting, with his eagerness to put the past behind him, that it should be destroyed like everything else. Just like what he had pictured, him ruling as Supreme Leader, with the girl standing firmly at his side. That was a foolish idea brought on by the emotions that had ultimately destroyed his grandfather: compassion and relentless dedication to someone who was unwilling to give it back.

Staring into her eyes—her eyes only, with her surroundings still nothing but a blur to him—he knew then that Snoke had most likely not anticipated how far their bond had reached. Maybe he had created this, or maybe he had simply taken advantage of it. But regardless of how it came to be, it was still there, created artificially and not by will of the Force. The visions he had of the future had all been a lie, a trick to try and sway him one way or another. It was to draw his conflict out in the open and force him to face it, and he had. The destruction it left behind was not intended.

Snoke was gone, and Kylo held his ground with the decisions he made. This was how things were supposed to go, and the girl had chosen her fate, as he had chosen his. But he had chosen it out of necessity and knowledge of what was right and just. She would keep on running with the rest of them, but one couldn't run forever.

Eventually, she had to stop.

The last words he whispered to Rey had shaken her, he could tell, not only by her circumstances but also the way in which he said them. But the fact that he couldn't see her clearly was an interesting development. Every time the force connected them, it was a mutual experience, whether or not they consented to it. But now, they were ghosts to one another—a fitting, if not unusual metaphor for every change that had taken place since that day on the _Supremacy_. The advantage this gave him was undeniable if used correctly, and with her rejection of his offer still fresh in his mind, it gave him a much stronger focus that kept his mind clear.

"Supreme Leader…?"

The voice belonged to one of his officers, looking at him for direction in the same way that they had looked to Hux before. But of course, with both of them standing within only feet of one another, it was clear which one had the authority, and the fiery look of contempt Hux was giving him was enough to satisfy him in his position. The officer looked uncertain as best, not completely sure who he should be asking for guidance from. It irked him before, knowing that the look would be replaced by fear if he had been Snoke.

But there was something to be said about the way he was perceived, merely from him being human. Human emotions brought about ruin when they were left without release. Kylo knew this, and while he might not hold a torch to Snoke's ability to intimidate and bring about loyalty from trepidation alone, he was able to appeal to their human nature simply by being on the same level as them. Or, as he would insist, _appearing_ to be on the same level as them.

He might have gained something great from watching Hux shuffle uncomfortably, but Kylo Ren needed the chance to think of just where they would go next. Plans had not stuck for long, with every chance they had slipping between their fingers before they could grab a hold. Flicking his hand in the direction of Hux, the red-head took it as his signal that he could step in. The man was at least smart enough to hide the smug look that was slowly taking over his features. They were suffering quite a set-back, but not as bad as the Resistance, and that was enough to keep them pushing forward without fail.

The Force allowed him to be aware of many things at once, giving him the chance to retreat into his own mind for a moment. The words shared between those around him faded away as he willingly opened himself up. Not one person around him knew of just how far his abilities went, and he intended to keep it that way. Before, the ideas he had of a new order, a better galaxy, were brought about by Rey's willingness to stand with him. When she abandoned him on the cold floor of the throne room, he saw the truth there: to hope for anything was a waste. _Trying_ was a waste.

He would either stop, or he would take.

 _"I'll destroy her,"_ he had told Luke Skywalker, and in that moment, the quiet venom in his tone didn't even get close to the fury he still felt. He had offered her a place beside him—this girl, hardened yet crying out for companionship her whole life, and she refused. He offered her _everything_ , and she turned away. The scavenger, used to picking at scraps and just barely scraping by, made the choice to turn away from it all. From him.

She was so very easily swayed when Luke spread such lies about him about the day he destroyed his school. Her opinions came from a place of passion and the need to spread justice to those who had committed wrongdoing. _Monster_ , she had called him. He was sure that she wouldn't think it odd that he act the part that she bestowed upon him.

Kylo Ren grabbed the thread that he pictured within his mind, yanking it back with such ferocity that the Force seemed to hum around him. To anyone else, it would appear that he was simply mulling over strategies or ideas of where they could go next—but it was a completely separate battle within his own mind. Before, he could feel her faint presence on the other end, but now, it was flickering between a bright light and a rush of darkness; it reflected his own persona more than his end ever had.

The Force worked in mysterious ways, but it was time that he took advantage of it.

Kylo felt her jump on the other end, not knowing whether it was from his introduction or her own situation, but by then, he had already shut the door on their bond so hard that he was left reeling from the effort. The rush of adrenaline he had felt from her couldn't have come from excitement or anxiety alone.

 _Fear_ , he concluded. He had felt it humming between them before, but when he actually tried to look, he felt her struggle to put up her walls.

He squeezed his lightsaber again, reminded once again of their escape by ways of Luke Skywalker providing a distraction by ways of Force projection. After he had disappeared from the battleground, Kylo Ren could not discern where he was projecting himself from or what he had done afterwards. The man had, of course, shut himself off from the Force for many years. He hadn't been able to feel his uncle in all of that time, even after settling into meditation. It was though he had just… vanished.

Had he slithered back to his hiding place after playing his trick? Or had he actually attempted to come to the aid of the Resistance?

A foolish attempt that was. Had the oh-so-famous _last Jedi_ joined up with his comrades, then Kylo would not have felt Rey's panic in the same velocity as he had. Snoke's order that Skywalker be destroyed was not coming from a place of personal vendetta; Kylo Ren shared that drive as well, even more so when he remembered what was taken from him by his uncle. They praised him as a hero, not even bothering to see all that he had done.

But he was a fool as well, and he had let his anger get the better of him when he demanded that all weapons be fired to extinguish the life that should have meant nothing. He wouldn't make such a mistake again—at least, not at the expense of the First Order.

 _The light is gone_ , he told himself firmly, the words sounding more and more robotic by the day. The darkness within his counterpart was growing with every second that they were apart. The normally clear thread between them was growing red, but it did not start on his end. It bled with hers.

"Supreme Leader, what is your order?" He heard the voice again, but this time, he managed to hold on to every word, despite his short distraction. Kylo could have easily directed their ever move, but he was not a military strategist, which left most of what was being asked of him up to Hux. Even after a month's time, the Resistance had gained no footing, and the First Order had built upon what was lost. Everything had gone in their favor, except for the fact that not one of them could track the measly ship they had escaped on.

"Search all systems in the immediate area," Hux broke in before he could say anything, but given the way his thoughts were heading, Kylo had to agree with his initial plan. "Rebels seek out allies among the rubble. If they wish to live, they'll do so. The chances of them having visited at least one of these planets are extremely high. They cannot flee forever."

He was reminded of Rey's all too obvious panic, and was able to piece together the information he had, no matter how minimal it was. "They can't get far with that piece of junk," Kylo said, nearly hissing at the prospect of it posing any sort of problem for them, but swallowing it before he could make his distaste known. "I suspect they're already scrambling for any kind of foot-hold they can get."

"They won't get it," Hux broke in, and Kylo was surprised at the lack of argument in his tone. It might have been one of the only times that they were on the same page with anything. "Move forward, trace any unregistered ships, and report any planets that might be of interest."

There were no other sounds other than the quiet beeping and rumbling of the ship, but Kylo could feel Hux's gaze on him. It was slowly becoming more obvious that the general had something to say, but just wouldn't come out and _say it_. Kylo's temper was brimming just below the surface, and should the man continue to push him, then he couldn't be held responsible for what happened to him. It was a dance they had done around each other many times throughout the years, and every time, it felt like the boiling point. But never did Hux push far enough to warrant his death—he was too smart for that.

"Something to say, General?" Kylo finally pressed, turning around to indicate that Hux should keep with his pace if he was to say anything. Funnily enough, Hux seemed all too prepared to do so.

He put up with the increasingly paranoid and angered glare that the general sent his way before the man finally said, "You don't seem as insistent on catching up to our _friends_ as you were not too long ago." The man glanced to the side, as though nervous to be overheard, but he continued nonetheless. "Could I assume that you have grown to develop patience? A strategy that might help the Order? Or does this come from… outside influence?"

That the man had the audacity to say something so… so _outright_ , it made Kylo shake with barely concealed rage. His face, meanwhile, was as cold as stone, the ridges around his eyes the only show of just how much effort was going into holding himself steady. "What are you suggesting?"

Hux knew he had touched a raw nerve, if the small huff that escaped him was anything to go by. "Supreme Leader Snoke was supposedly killed by the intruder who stole onto our ship—the one who is undoubtedly on board the ship you refer to as 'junk.' Should she have committed such an act, then keeping the Resistance's location should be but a measly task… But are you so sure that a slip of a girl could have even _attempted_ such a feat… _alone_?"

To an onlooker, it might seem that Kylo Ren was pondering the question, or even ignoring the general—but the choking sound that came from the man's throat was enough to prove those theories wrong. His face grew increasingly pale as the breath was stolen from his lungs. It was not enough to kill him, but enough to assert his power—both in rank and personality. His eyes said it all: he didn't believe Kylo's story, regardless of how adamant he was to follow the Resistance after the attack. No matter how furiously he had sought them out after making such a low blow.

"You underestimate the girl as if you might just match her," he growled, dropping his hand as it was lifted oh-so-subtly next to his hip. Hux took in a deep breath that Kylo didn't allow him to follow with words.

"She was brought to Snoke by his orders, and yet he was the one who lost. You believe her to be weak?"

"I believe that she has a hold on you," Hux breathed, gradually bringing himself back to his full height. Kylo's eyes narrowed, but he said nothing. "The fact that she did not parish on Starkiller Base was evident enough. I can't imagine how she bested you with such little experience. But now you wish for me to believe that she was strong enough to take down our Supreme Leader? A girl with no involvement with the Resistance—or any _war_ —prior to this?"

Hux leaned forward, and the pure animosity that passed between the two men was almost palpable. "She _is_ weak. Nothing. A scavenger poses no threat to the First Order. To think anything more puts doubt into the minds of our military, and questions that I have to answer. But those within our ranks also pose a legitimate problem if they are found to be… _disloyal._ "

It wasn't hard to know what he was insinuating, and Kylo was almost tempted to rise to the bait. But right now, the benefits came from keeping Hux in the dark. He had showed his loyalty to the First Order, not only as Supreme Leader, but with his decisions and his goals. The general would come to this realization by himself eventually, but for now, he proved more useful alive.

"General, we have sights of three possible former base locations," the call came again, and that was the only moment that broke the two from their match of wills. "One planet seems most likely to house inhabitants that can provide aid."

"Yemaya," Kylo spoke as he caught sight of the hologram. But given only a moment to observe, his eyes grew hard and his chin lifted, fueled by a sudden confidence that felt foreign to him after so long. There was no telling if they had been there, or they were even there now, but the proximity between him and Rey was palpable, and the planet would have drawn them in already. No experience with military strategy was required for him to draw the logical conclusion that the Resistance was close, and they had picked up the trail.

But time was of the essence. Their previous failures didn't come from being unable to find their places of refuge, but rather to find _them_ before they disappeared into the blackness of space. They had caught them in the middle of their evacuation before, back on D'Qar, but the Order now had the advantage of time. They were one step ahead. This battle was already won.

Powerful as he and Rey might be, not every bit of the galaxy admired those who harnessed the Force, and not everyone would be so willing to help a gang of rebels who committed just about the same crimes that he and his Order had. They should have kept running, but now, they'd have no chance. He had an inkling that the girl had no idea what kind of hole she had dug herself into.

* * *

The landing was rough and jolting, even for the most experienced of pilots. They were dangerously low on fuel, and caution and extreme observation could not take away the tension that had been building among the remaining members of the Resistance. Funnily enough, it appeared that many of them were simply grateful to have reached solid ground.

It could have been a metaphor for something more, had the First Order not been right on their tail for more than half of the time since they had escaped on the _Millenium Falcon_.

Rey stood back as a man was lead out of the _Falcon_ , his back hunched and a woman holding an arm tightly around him as he held his own close to him. Among all of the chaos, it was hard to remember just how many of their fighters had been injured. Not only had their numbers taken a hit… but those left behind weren't left with much else besides their will. It was a sad sight, but one she had to swallow. Wounds had been healed, and the fact that they had made it this far was still a victory, but the lines under everyone's eyes were impossible to ignore.

The stops they made on other planets had been short and uneventful at best, as they learned that getting too comfortable was never a good idea. But the adrenaline that had fueled them before was running dry. They all needed a break.

A few more shuffled out, their feet dragging as they made their exit. At this point, she contemplated whether or not it was actually worth holding back and working on the ship herself while Leia lead their little group. But there was an underlying reason behind the thought, and Rey couldn't help but berate herself for her selfishness. Now was not the time to seek out solitude, especially with others relying on her.

She held onto one arm as she followed after the others, but stopped short when she caught sight of Finn and Poe speaking to Rose where Rey had last seen her. Out of everyone Rey had seen, she seemed to be in the worst shape, even with the time she had been given to heal. Finn had told her about what had happened on Canto Bight in very minimal detail, but had explained Rose's apparent sacrifice that had taken place just before they reunited. It was a story she wished to hear, if only to take away from the train of distress that followed them.

Rey was so entranced in the conversation that she couldn't even hear, that she almost stumbled by people trying to move past her. Realizing that she was blocking the path out, she moved away and headed in the direction of the two men.

Poe seemed to recognize her footsteps despite the fact that he was facing the other way, and turned to face her just before she could reach them, stopping her in her tracks and forcing her to look up at him. Her mouth opened, ready to pose a question to him, but he cut her off quickly.

"Finn's gonna stay here with Rose—we have two others staying on as well. General Leia wants to speak to us."

When he said "us," she couldn't be sure that he was referring to the two of them, or just them in general, but being given another purpose besides sitting around and… _waiting_ … Well, it sounded a lot better to her.

She felt Poe's hand graze her lower back as he led her away, and she sent Finn a last grim smile—one he couldn't even look up to see—before she and Poe left the ship, opening themselves up to the expanse of green that was the planet of Yemaya.

It might have felt like the beauty that was Takodana, with all of its various greens and stunning earth, but the humidity that hit her was far too familiar to be considered beautiful, and the dampness in the earth was enough to make her feel like she was sinking below the sands of Jakku. Wet and restrictive—something they didn't need at all right now. But with the trees covering their immediate surroundings, Rey had to count their blessings.

"You think there might be a base here?" Rey asked her companion as they approached the group of fighters, Leia up front and center. She had been briefed, along with everyone, with the general information about the planet, but even their leader seemed wary. There wasn't much to go off of other than a small rebel base had been made here years ago, but hadn't provided much other than a stop for the Resistance to refuel and take off once more.

"I don't think you're gonna get a positive answer. General Leia seems to think there might be, but it's a shot in the dark. Who knows?" Poe didn't sound overly concerned, but then Rey had to remind herself: he had been with the Resistance for many years now. He must have had to deal with atrocities like this before; perhaps not on this scale, but something that required a clear head in order to get through.

Rey felt inclined to say more, but they reached Leia before she could voice her worries out loud. Now wasn't the time, and since they had very little answers already, it was doubtful that Poe would know much more than what he said already.

"Good, you're here." Leia sounded so tired that Rey could almost feel her heart breaking for her. There was only so much that a single person should have to go through, and the way the general looked at her—with so much faith and hope—made her feel all the more shattered that she wouldn't be able to live up to her expectations. "I need you and Poe to move forward. I have it on good authority that there might be a settlement a few miles ahead, but we also need to find a base to hold up in. We need fuel, food, and water."

Now Rey was beginning to see her strategy: staying low, and moving below the radar. They had done it so many times since the battle of Crait that it was becoming the norm. But the shift in the Force around Leia suggested that she thought differently—her mind was distracted, and it showed. It was off-putting. Splitting up was a good idea when you could get away with it, and it had been for a while, but now, it seemed to just be one of the better options that they had. It wasn't really saying much.

One of the major flaws with that plan, however, was that Poe was no doubt a much more prominent face of the Resistance compared to many others. Other, lesser known members had often been sent to find what they could under the pretense that they were just travelers making a pit stop. Rey—well, she was a nobody, so it hadn't mattered much then. But a nobody tagging along with a somebody was going to raise some eyebrows. But when Leia said no more, Rey had to wonder if there was a bigger plan to all this.

"Do you really think this is going to work?" she whispered to Poe, even though Leia was already out of earshot. She didn't want to undermine the general, but she had not grown up choosing to be alone—it was a necessity to survive. It was not a matter of going their separate ways that made her uneasy, but rather, their identities to those who may be living on the planet. "Neutral" did not mean "peaceful."

Poe didn't give her an immediate answer, but as he began to walk away, with her following, she heard him say, "I think I've learned to stop asking questions and just go along with it."

The way he said it could have been sarcastic, or even humorous, but despite his more light-hearted yet tired tone, she could tell that their choices were stagnated. The General knew best, and Rey had to trust that, and trust her companions that were now the only ones she had left.

The line that connected her to Kylo Ren was silent, but the festering feelings of doubt did not go unnoticed.


	4. trying to holler at me

**Author's Note:** I didn't have to update too much in this chapter, thankfully, but it's the next two chapters that I'd really like to re-evaluate. To be honest, they're my favorite so far in terms of character progression, since I get the chance to see through the eyes of both Kylo Ren and Rey. I've wondered about their mindsets throughout the entirety of The Last Jedi, and I really get to explore that there.

In the meantime, enjoy some frustrated Kylo, confused Rey, and overall coolest friend Poe. Why do I like Poe so much? Could be because all of the reylo fics I've read with him just being an overall really interesting character. Yes, this is a reylo fic, but I also want to include other characters when possible. No worries, though-there won't be any full chapters focused solely on one character and then another. But pure angst doesn't make a story, so I'm gonna delve into different parts as I see fit. c:

Thank you to all those who have been reviewing!

* * *

 ** _trying to holler at me_**

She had dealt with sand that could pull you in past your ankles. She had to deal with it getting into places where sand should not generally be, and still managed to keep going without twitching. But the mud that licked at her ankles right now made Jakku look like paradise in comparison. It wasn't like she struggled too much, but even Poe didn't seem to be breaking so much as a sweat. There was being experienced with the terrain and not letting it bother you, but the man ahead of her looked to be so deep in thought that he might not have even felt the earth beneath him.

"Kriff," Rey muttered when she sunk forward, losing her footing and nearly having to brace herself to keep from falling face-first into the mud. Poe couldn't have helped her in time, but thankfully, she held her balance just in time, and she was left with a soreness in her legs that rivaled the feeling she had after trekking through miles of sand. Beautiful it might have been, considering how virtually untouched the planet looked to be, but that didn't mean anything when they were here for anything but sight-seeing. They had already been at this for almost an hour…

"I've been here before. You really don't get used to it," Poe said. He sounded like he was attempting to lighten the mood, but it would take a bit before it sounded convincing. However, when he leaned back to offer an arm for her to take, she was nevertheless grateful for his attempts. A short tug was enough to release her from the substance, and Rey had to resist the urge to take another step right away. They were both tired, but recent events were really starting to take over. The shock was wearing off. His small grin was the only light she saw in this miserable trek.

The flash of black fabric behind her was enough to warrant a double-take, but there was nothing there besides the wide expanse of trees off in the distance.

 _I can do this,_ she told herself, gritting her teeth as she released her death grip on Poe's arm. She could easily pass it off as nerves that kept her so rigid.

"I don't think it's far now. Don't plop down for a nap just yet," he reassured her with another small smile, pulling away but still keeping pace with her as they trudged on. When Rey looked ahead, she couldn't say she saw anything remarkable, but maybe she wasn't paying close enough attention. This planet was unknown to her, after all. There were many things she had never seen before. Maybe…

The movement behind her made her jump this time, and the way her head quickly turned back was not to be overlooked this time. Poe raised a brow.

"What are you seeing?" he asked, sounding almost incredulous. An excuse of "nothing" was an immediate thought that came to mind, but when Rey didn't immediately answer, he followed up with: "Rey, I'm not feelin' the best either—" There was just a hint of a laugh in his tone, but he sounded too tired to try and force it out. "—but if there was anything following us, you'd be able to tell. We got our blasters. We'll be good." He patted his weapon, holstered to his belt, just to emphasize his point.

Even the obvious couldn't get her to think that this was all _normal_. That she _didn't_ keep seeing Kylo Ren as he followed at their heels. "Poe, I don't think—"

"I know," he replied, waving her off as he turned to face her fully. The statement froze her in place before he followed it with, "It's not as flashy as all of that Force stuff—that, by the way, you haven't showed me yet." Her face heated up with embarrassment, coming from a failed promise she had made not too long ago. "But hey… if we _do_ run into any problems, you can just throw some rocks at them."

Even if he was having a hard time of it, it was admirable that the man was trying so hard to keep her from falling—both figuratively and literally, if her less-than-graceful attempts of moving through the mud was any indication.

She opened her mouth to tell him she was fine, and that she was just having the same troubles everyone else was—she was just tired and probably seeing things. But that hadn't been the case on the _Falcon_ , nor all of the times she had been "seeing things" before coming to the Resistance's aid on Crarit. She hadn't just been seeing things then. Over his shoulder, she could no longer deny that what she was seeing was something she had seen before. At least… bits and pieces of what she'd seen before. There was no telling if what she saw was a whole person, or what was left of one.

He looked like a ghost, a nearly transparent shape that she could have easily passed had she not been used to him. But of course, she would always be the one to see him, and just the idea of him standing there, watching, was enough to spark the wave of confusing emotions that she felt at their last interaction—not the one with Leia, nor the one that caught her off-guard in her makeshift quarters. Their last _real_ interaction.

The one that left the Skywalker lightsaber split and him lying unconscious on the floor of the _Supremacy_.

She watched him lift a hand in her direction, curious. He said nothing. Rey suddenly had her doubts that he could see her at all, and wondered if he might be in a state of meditation. But she only had a split-second to see him tilt his head upwards before the Force hit her.

 _The extreme pressure in her head was what woke her. Everything around her bled into each other, with the red representing that of the blood that had been spilled and the black an expression of the dark thoughts that had consumed those in the room. It was also wrapped around the man who lay still only a few yards away, unmoving and unresponsive despite the turmoil that was happening around him. They had left the room in shambles, with bodies littering the floor._

 _She felt sick as she placed a palm on the cold ground, trying to quell her nausea. She couldn't even be sure where it was coming from; the bruise on her head throbbed, but it was the feeling in her heart that really made her sit and pause. She couldn't even manage to lift her head and take in the carnage left in the wake of their fight—see the damage that they had caused together. The damage that he had been determined to let pass in order to take his place as Supreme Leader._

 _Her vision swam as she finally pushed herself to her feet, but it was not a steady stance, and she had half a mind to give into her body's demands and let herself fall back; back to the floor, back to unconsciousness. But the rumbling under her was not to be ignored, and she knew that should she choose to stay and let herself drift away, she would not be returning._

 _The small glint between them caught her attention first, and she leaned down to grasp the half of the lightsaber that he had attempted to call back to him. Her end laid closer to him, mere feet from his head and still sizzling at its ragged end. Against Ben's back, it looked far more dangerous in comparison, and that was enough to make her drop to her knees._

 _She picked it up and held it in her palms, almost afraid to move it any more than she had. It was not delicate, that was for certain. But separate from its other half, it was all but useless until the two parts were brought back together. A Jedi without a lightsaber was like her without the light—unknown, lost, and vulnerable. She did not want to admit it to herself, but the sight of the two parts brought fresh tears to her eyes. They were nothing apart._

 _Movement in front of her broke her from her stupor, and she watched wide-eyed as Ben managed to take in a breath. Fear raced down her spine, but it was a pained sound that escaped him, and after that, silence. Still unconscious, injured in more ways than one. His own lightsaber was thrown across the floor unceremoniously, leaving him open. Helpless and exposed._

 _There was a picture of her in her mind: high on fury and desperate for more answers despite herself. The blue lightsaber in her hand was raised above Luke Skywalker, threatening him with a swift strike should he not speak the truth. But like the story he had described, it was only a split-second that had her considering using it. It passed, and she let her arm drop away._

 _Before then, she could have pictured herself threatening Kylo Ren in a similar manner, but when the thought crossed her mind, it dissipated almost immediately. She could never know what she would have done had she been in the position. On Starkiller Base, she had come close, but in the moments after her vicious attack that left him scarred across his face, they had met the eyes of each other, and she couldn't do it._

 _To injure an opponent is to injure yourself._

 _Here, there was no defiance, or even a meager acceptance of his possible fate. Here, he was unable to resist. His own lightsaber could take his life by her hand, no resistance and no more pain. It would be quick, and cripple the First Order in more ways than one._

 _But she couldn't even lift a hand._

 _Killing him was not an option, not with his pleads still ringing in her ears. To join him, to stand beside him as his equal… The eyes of Ben Solo looked back at her, filled with that same fear that Luke had described to her. It felt like ages ago that she had felt that fury, that drive to seek out the monster and simply end it. Make him pay for what he had done to Finn, to Han… but she could not._

 _"Ben," she whispered, her throat closing as she choked back her emotions. The hand that did not hold the half of the lightsaber lifted, careful and restrained, but shaking with the effort of holding back. It was mere inches from his face, but her fingers would not dare to graze his skin. It held too many implications, and she knew that should she cross that line, there would be no returning from it. Snoke may have been right in claiming that Ben had too much of his father's heart in him—but sitting so close to him, Rey felt her own heart clench in defeat._

 _Footsteps approaching rapidly snapped her attention back to the present, and she pulled her hand away as though she'd been burned. The vibrations underfoot were turning into violent jerks, and she lost track of just how long she had been sitting there. When she opened her hand and called the other lightsaber half to her, it did not fight her like it had before, and she grasped it more firmly than she had before. This was her decision, and she had to follow through._

 _His own weapon, settled a short distance away, whispered to her in ways she wished she could forget. But her own wordless exit did nothing to take her away from the voice inside her head begging her to stay._

 _Get away. Get away—_

"Rey! Rey—"

A voice broke off violently, and it was almost immediately followed by the sound of a struggle that prevented the victim from speaking further. It was a choked sound, one that was forced by another who had happened to catch the other off-guard.

Rey didn't have to open her eyes—they were already wide open, but only just coming into focus as the glazed look slowly faded from them. A trance, perhaps, but her memory of what was happening was far away even when she came to. But when something was bluntly shoved into her back, she was forced to kneel in the same position that she had before, her hands moving to catch her fall and keep from losing her grip on the earth.

"Okay, _okay_!" Poe said, settled in the same position across from her, albeit a bit more clean and proper even with the mud caking his legs and boots. He wore a scar across his temple that looked shallow but also bled freely, giving Rey a glimpse of something that she had been unable to determine the source of.

Her eyes tracked the hands holding blasters to him, and widened when they caught sight of four men—two human and two Twi'leks—poised and ready to pull the trigger at any signal. From her position, she couldn't tell who the leader was or if this was even an organized attack, but with Poe's harsh breaths and lack of sudden movements that would indicate he was ready to struggle, Rey knew it did her well to sit and think. Had she been fully aware of her surroundings, she might have attempted to speak instead, but her throat felt dry and unresponsive.

"Got no word of visitors to Akela," one of the human males spoke—a tall man, with thin features and impossibly light hair and eyes. Even without the muscle that would directly express his strength, it was his frosty appearance and impossible to read eyes that sent a shiver down her spine. He barely even looked human, yet he wore the face of one. "You don't look like those scavengers that tried to pick us clean two sunrises ago."

The irony of the statement was not lost on Rey, and she lowered her gaze as though she had blame to carry. It was pointless, really, seeing as these men had no idea who they were—who _she_ was—but the title brought with it many labels that she hadn't yet shed. In many ways, she was still a scavenger, and should she have made her home here, she could have easily been in the group that these people held anger towards. The question still remained, though, and as she looked them over, she had to wonder: would she have felt justified taking from them?

"We're looking for… _assistance_ ," Poe said, the words sliding out carefully as he wiped his hand across his bloodied lip. This wasn't his first time talking around people who could very well be his enemy, and Rey knew the feeling well. "Food, maybe water. We have enough to sustain, but we want to be prepared."

Lies, all of it. But exposing their weakness was not about to gain them any favors. Being on the run from the First Order hadn't gained them any long-term allies, but those they had come across had at least been hospitable. These men did not look like they wanted to kill without question, but they were clearly searching through the not-so-carefully layered lie that Poe had thrown out for them to see. Her silence must have made them increasingly suspicious, as the one with the cold eyes looked at her next. Poe had already given him the answer.

Rey felt the blaster at her back push her once more, this time more harshly. Slowly, she straightened her back and wiped the mud from her palms, grimacing at the feeling. Even looking out of the corner of her eye, it seemed that the man wasn't ready to speak. It was odd, the way he observed her—not of extreme interest, nor with the intention to intimidate. It looked like he was trying to figure something out that she alone was hiding.

Eventually, he kneeled down in front of her, and looked straight at her. Rey had grown accustomed to uncomfortable exchanges during her time on Jakku, so much so that holding a straight face was not terribly difficult. But as the time stretched on, the lack of any progress whatsoever began to irk her and left her trembling from the effort of keeping still.

"Injured," the man said, reaching and grasping the arm that was marred by the cut. The cut she had received in the throne room, with _him_. The one that had since healed, but still remained a dark mark on her skin that would not go away.

Somehow, she got the impression that he thought her to carry more injuries than the one of her arm. Surely she'd get there, if the one behind her wouldn't stop _stabbing her in the back with his blaster_.

"Hold off," he finally said, and the pressure behind her was pulled away, as were the weapons aimed at her companion. Poe was looking at her evenly, as though trying to devise a plan that he could share in secret. He opened his mouth, and Rey guessed he might be ready to speak, but he closed it quickly. There was no planning, and there was no chance of them sharing words that only the other could hear.

"We're with the Resistance," Rey suddenly said, finally finding her voice, and the look Poe gave her was scathing. But it was her instinct to survive with whatever resources she had. The scene that had played out earlier had taken her far away, where she couldn't be reached, but now she was grounded in the place that she needed to be. They needed help, and they needed to take the risk if it meant they would be rewarded. Maybe, with this exchange, she would find out why Leia had sent _her_ in place of another. "We need help."

"The Resistance?" One of the Twi'leks asked, nearly dumbfounded. "They haven't been wiped clean already?"

It wasn't a mocking tone that followed, but it did pose the question of just how quickly news spread of the deaths and destruction that rose in the wake of the battles between the rebellion and the First Order. Those who stood before her didn't even seem to notice that anything had happened at all—that their little group of rebels was right under their noses.

The frosty-haired man turned his head to the side and held up a hand, effectively stopping any further questions. But there was no warning before both her and Poe were lifted roughly to their feet and shoved forward, weapons trained on their backs once more. What had caused the sudden shift was unknown, but the wild emotions that rose within her was telling her only one thing: fight or flight had been their only options, and now, they were quickly dropping away.

Rey was suddenly aware of a dark and unwelcome presence at her back.

"Jedi killer?" The voice that spoke was even and curious, yet held too much knowledge to be considered innocent. At the back of the group, no one could hear them, and Rey was left clenching her fist as the unknown began to swallow them. "No, not quite," the man breathed as he slowed for a moment, turning his gaze behind him.

"That belongs to the one at the end of your thread."

* * *

Her memories slipped through his fingers like the sand of her home planet, and the lightsaber he grasped in his hand was no longer restricted by his miniscule control over his emotions. In his mind, he lashed out at the bulk of the ship that could sustain the damage, watching sparks fly and parts break off in all directions. It was the kind of destruction he would have relished in, had Hux not have been watching him the entire time, almost daring him to make a move. He opened his eyes to a perfectly still scene, where he managed to restrain himself from the impulsive act.

"Clearance to land, Sir?" they asked him, and he all the while stood in the middle of the room seething.

She was testing him in so many ways, pulling away at the times where he held on. Her Force abilities may have grown strong, but sheer strength could not control what one did not know. Only his focused mind could see her when she could not see him, and seeing the Force slipping away was not something he was about to accept. Snoke may have forged this connection, but Kylo Ren would ensure that it would keep burning.

"Yes." His hands quivered as he turned on his heel, feeling the pull that brought him through the door and into the hall. He sensed more questions of the tip of their tongues, but they were not fast enough to catch him.

The groups of Stormtroopers that were lucky enough to survive the destruction of the _Supremacy_ looked at him a little too closely. Every day, every hour, they looked at him like they might be able to discover all of his secrets. The helmets that would usually turn away when he stared them down now lingered for too long as he stalked down the corridor. Just grazing the edge of their thoughts brought not fear or suspicion, but rather curiosity, and it was a feeling he couldn't afford to let go.

He snagged one of them out of the group, watching as their mind went from simply intrigued to terrified in a matter of seconds. The mask could hide a lot, but for a Force-sensitive, the man quivering beneath him was an open book. Eyes that didn't belong to the trooper stared back at him, and Kylo shoved out his hand, throwing them against the wall as the others watched on in silent horror.

His palms felt sweaty beneath his gloves, his lightsaber weighing heavy. It was the same as it was under the order of Snoke to kill the girl—his _true enemy_ , he claimed. How unusual it was that the Supreme Leader could not sense his intentions. _Too much of your father's heart_ , he heard echo in his mind, and that should have been the end of it. Yet he had taken his master's life without any struggle, and it left him feeling even weaker—like something was off. Not only was his mind a storm of different thoughts, but the girl's wavering grasp on the Force was calling him back, and there was no way he was going to push it away.

He heard a voice calling for her—faint, but still very much there, and he knew that it couldn't have come from where he stood. It was from her end, and he was not meant to hear it.

 _"We're with the Resistance,"_ she said, sounding unsteady and desperate, and he turned another corner in time to see her; to see the outline of her body as she trudged along, an unknown presence behind her. His brow creased in confusion as he followed at a slower pace, but she didn't even look back at him. Even his plainly obvious footsteps could not draw her attention, or even her acknowledgement. She was not ignoring him—she couldn't even _sense_ him.

Blocked, he concluded. Blocked from the Force—from _him_ , without any explanation he could come up with. He had felt her not even minutes before. But there was someone else there, prodding where they shouldn't. It wasn't the dark side of the Force being manipulated, but rather, an experienced Force-user with too much awareness for their own good. Suddenly, as the girl began to disappear from view and Kylo began to retreat into his own mind, he felt eyes staring straight through him, while he was still unable to see them.

They snagged the thread—so delicate yet resilient—and then, cut it off.


	5. can't find its way out

**Author's Note:** Please read the first chapter's author's note if you are confused. This chapter, along with the next, are being reposted after I edited both to include points that will affect later chapters.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

* * *

 ** _can't find its way out_**

Silence was what she was left with, and it was deafening—as if everything else around her vanished and she had fallen asleep. The Force had connected them in a similar way before, but now, it was as though her grasp on him was nonexistent—like he had never been there to begin with. It felt like she was blind, sifting through her subconscious with about as much efficiency as one might move underwater.

"What did you do?" she asked, but it came out more like a whisper.

The only thing she was left to feel was the stress of cuffs as they were placed on both of her arms in front of her, now hyperaware of every part of her body resisting. Rey pulled at the hand holding onto her, but she only received a leveled glare in her direction. Poe looked over to her with his eyes wide but concentrated. He wouldn't panic in this kind of situation, but he also didn't have to face the sudden shock that was the sudden shift in the Force. The man beside her was responsible, she had no doubt, but he was still not willing to speak or respond to her question, and none of the others seemed to suspect him of anything unusual.

She would repeat herself if needed, just to make sure that he really _heard_ her.

"You're with the First Order?" Rey asked pointedly, ready to press for more information, but she was stopped short as they began to approach their destination.

The sight that had caught her and Poe's attention not too long ago was now revealing itself only a few yards away. A village of sorts, with small huts intended as homes and several different inhabitants spread about the area. On Jakku, this kind of information was important: picking out just how many people were around her, which ones held the largest threat, and which ones she could exploit in order to take advantage of her situation. With just a glance, she could see that the group that currently escorted them were not separate from those they had wished to seek help from.

She clenched her eyes shut, the anxiety and growing sense of failure keeping her unable to think straight. All she saw were bodies walking to and fro, eying them as they were brought into their place of safety. Rey wouldn't have thought anything bad of them being cautious had she not been on the end that was currently cuffed and helpless. Helpless, less because of their physical limitations, and more from the fact that several people with sharp weapons were now standing at their backs, with every advantage they could possibly have against them.

The man holding onto her released his iron grip, and Rey looked down at her arm, as if that could take up enough of her attention so that she could forget what was happening.

 _"Where are you?"_ She swung her head around, hoping she might just see Kylo's faint outline like she had before—but there was nothing. He sounded tired and restrained, like he could barely choke out what he wished to say. But the emotion that should have been tied with that description was nonexistent; rather, it sounded like a chord had been cut between them, and it took a great deal of effort to keep it alive.

She barely felt Poe moving to stand beside her, and pressing his right arm against her left in an attempt to get her attention. It was a reminder—albeit an unintentional one—to keep her eyes ahead. She was slowly losing herself in her want to feel the person at the other end of the connection, regardless of how unnecessary it was. It shouldn't have mattered so much. Right now, staying in her own head could prove to be a better option than possibly making impulsive decisions against those who held them captive.

Poe must have wanted to take the risk, but he thankfully kept quiet, something she knew was taking a lot from him. She had heard of his recklessness, but no one had bothered to explain exactly what gave him the title of "rebel among rebels." Now was not the time for her to question it.

They both watched as a man stepped forward, leaning heavily on a cane as he moved through the crowd. He wore something on his head that Rey couldn't identify, but she had to guess that it was a mark of leadership of some sort. Royalty, maybe, but he didn't look the part of what she had always pictured as a "royal." He looked fairly young and his face was well-shaven and clean, odd features considering the cane that held him up and the less than clean surroundings that they lived among.

The frosty-haired man stood out among them—even against the "leader." He looked to be the most intimidating, which put further emphasis on the other man's passive, even friendly expression.

"Newcomers?" His voice was quiet and hoarse, suggesting he did not use it often. Strange, then, since his appearance did not offer much in the way of making a strong impression. Rey felt uncomfortable as the man looked them over, similar to how his underlings had earlier. But strangely enough, he didn't spend more than a few seconds on it. "…Not intending to join our clan, based on your appearances."

"This one claims that they're part of the Resistance." She felt a nudge to her side, and she sent a sharp glare in the Twi'lek's direction. He even satisfied her with an annoyed look of his own.

"Resistance," the leader hummed, his men stepping aside when he held a hand out. "I hope you don't intend to find refuge here. _You_ should know that above anyone else, Dameron."

It was then that Poe's presence next to her was brought to attention. He _had_ been unusually quiet.

"What did you do, Poe?" Rey asked through gritted teeth.

The leader let out a laugh. It was not light-hearted, but rather a show that what she was asking did not quite line up with what was being implied. Was she the only one who didn't know what was happening? "Your friend here didn't _do_ anything. Nothing we couldn't clean up, anyway," he paused, giving Poe a level nod. "But why he came here with the Resistance is beyond my comprehension. We remain neutral so that you war-mongrels don't drag us down with you."

It was an insult that didn't hit her right away, but rather gave her a picture of a more relatable identity: scavenger. She was simply jumping from one meager existence to another, according to this man, but he couldn't possibly know that. He couldn't possibly know how much the entire Resistance had pushed just to stay _alive_. Rey burned with impatience.

"We weren't looking for weapons or more fighters," Poe said, defensive in his tone, but the spark in his eye suggested that he wasn't afraid of these people, and that he might just be lying through his teeth. Leia had told them what they needed, but it couldn't hurt to try for more if it was worth the effort. Impulsive he may be, but Rey took his willingness to speak as a sign that these people weren't the most dangerous that they could have come across. "Just some assistance. You know we're not here to cause trouble, don't you?"

"I don't know, do we?" the leader responded swiftly and effectively, cutting Poe off before he could say more. "You're not the most reliable of rebels, Dameron. We keep out of this fight for a reason, and this is one of them. You're asking for something that will drain us of our resources, and ultimately solve nothing. I know of the Resistance's setbacks. It's hard not to, from the last moon cycle to now—the Order is not a quiet adversary."

The Resistance had scraped by for over a month's time with little more than the clothes on their back, slipping in and out to get what they needed to survive while keeping a low profile. It was strangely easy, as they came across little trouble in their stops on the various planets in their system.

Why, then, did this man seem to be far too aware of what position they held themselves in?

"It would be _something_ ," Rey suddenly said, lifting her head high, but it was not the leader that responded to her, but the man who had long stood behind her. He had kept quiet throughout most of the exchange, but was still a large presence among a group of people who looked more interested in slipping by unnoticed.

"Something you could pay back, I suppose?" he replied snidely, matching her look with a superior one of his own, while also managing to carry an air of professionalism. She wasn't sure which was worse.

Rey opened her mouth to insist that they could repay their debts—it was fair that they do so, after all. But before, she had been able to promise herself and her abilities as a way to repay what was due. Now, she was left to offer not herself, but the Resistance and its members—most of which were still struggling, physically and psychologically. She couldn't on good conscience do it, and the cold, yet satisfied look she received was proof that he knew it, too.

Poe glanced at her, then, and she was reminded of just what she had said earlier, about the Resistance needing help. Maybe she hadn't shared _too_ much, but she had opened the doors for these strangers to discover their weaknesses. There were too many cracks to cover, and the man holding the staring contest with her was far too aware to be considered normal.

"Take away their restraints," the leader eventually said, waving his hand as he let out a sigh.

He must have grown tired of the lack of any real progress in the confrontation. If Rey could guess, the man had been put into a position of leadership that he would never have willingly chosen. He had a youthful appearance bogged down by the reality of keeping his group together, and she was instantly reminded of the General—the General that was no doubt digging into every possible option that allowed the Resistance to survive. That was what she and Poe had to do—help her save them.

The flare of light was unexpected but welcome, but with it came a much more uncomfortable sensation—hands that were pressing, prodding, and trying to grasp at something she could not give. The Force surrounded her in an overwhelmingly negative way, but not from the hands that were reaching for her. Kylo Ren was there, trying to reach her, but no sooner had he sought her out did his Force signature vanish, brought about unnaturally rather than by choice.

Rey hadn't realized she had closed her eyes until they snapped open forcefully and without her consent, locking onto the man that had yet to look away from her. His control over the Force was questionable, but his mere presence made her shiver with trepidation. Kylo could not even reach her. He seemed to recognize it, too, as with the effort that he was putting forth by the sweat dripping down his brow, he was also extremely focused.

As the anger built up within her, she was left feeling bolder. "We don't have the resources to offer you."

"What she means is—"

"Oh, do shut up," the frost-haired man growled, speaking through gritted teeth. It was the only time he bothered to turn away from her, but that did not mean his attention was diverted in any substantial way. "Let your friend speak. After all, she doesn't look the part of a fighter. I have to question her true allegiance, considering she does not wear the symbol of the Resistance."

Poe looked stumped, if not a bit put-off. When it came to strategy, Rey could say that she didn't spend too much time on it. Neither did Poe, apparently. But she also wasn't playing with a full deck. They had to work with what they had, and if they thought something as basic as her not _looking_ the part of the Resistance, she would take what they were handing out to her.

"The First Order is on our trail," Rey continued, hoping that Poe would understand why she was digging the hole deeper. Whether they were as close as she claimed meant little right now. There was no other way she could see that would sway these people over to their side, perhaps not permanently, but enough to where a truce could be made. "They'll find you without any problem. But you've seen us—you already have a target on your back. You can't just sit out when your enemies are right outside your doorstep."

She watched for a moment, hoping that there might be some change in their expressions, but there was nothing. "We can help each other—protect each other," she said, hoping that the sincerity in her words might be felt by the leader.

Her adversary was seething, most likely from the unspoken challenge that hid beneath her words. She didn't have to emphasize her threat any further: should they continue to dwell on their suspicions, then the First Order would arrive without any formal introduction, leaving them all vulnerable. This clan could not survive alone, if they were only counting numbers.

"Riyuu," the leader spoke, looking at the man beside him, "What do you think?"

With that, Rey was finally able to pair a name to a face. A very pale face, with eyes that could kill with just how shamelessly expressive they were. The dark was there in some capacity, but whether he ever acknowledged it was unknown. All Rey could feel from him was a blank wall—a blank _slate_ , if it was even possible to describe. But he did not hold any secrets that he couldn't afford to lose, that much was clear, and he wanted her to know it.

"I say—" he said, pausing when Poe shuffled unnervingly beside her, "—that there might be something to gain from this—a ceasefire, or _truce_ , if you will, might be worth more than we see at face-value."

He seemed to take enjoyment out of throwing her words right back at her, but she had left it out there for a reason. The more she remained in his presence, the less attached she felt. The less she could grasp at the Force. The less she could feel _him_.

"An opportunity," the leader murmured, half to himself, but eventually, his weathered expression turned into one of relief. He glanced up briefly, taking note of something, before his attention was brought back to his people standing before him. "The sun is setting—I'd rather not continue this debate out in the open if what the girl says is true. Take them to the barracks, and tell the clan to prepare for any immediate threats." Turning to her and Poe, he said, "I will come speak to the two of you shortly."

There should have been a way she could convince them of their innocence and good intentions, but mind tricks did not work on the weak-minded, and Rey wasn't about to resign herself to tricking someone into believing the truth. The protection and help they needed was not going to come out of nowhere, and they needed to build a system of trust to ensure that they could grow stronger. The First Order may have been a corrupt society, but it functioned because of the people working towards similar goals.

Could the Resistance even hope for more at this point? For so long Rey's goal in life had been simply to survive, and she had done so for many years on Jakku. But there had been no other paths besides that available to her. Any scavenger's dream would simply be to have something to eat after a long day in the sun—usually the _only_ thing to eat that day. The Resistance wanted freedom for the galaxy and the ability to live without the chains that the First Order wished to keep on them.

But the galaxy had lost so many fighting for peace.

Rey swallowed her words as she was led away, this time more freely, with her arms no longer bound. The man known as Riyuu walked beside her on her right, while another dark-skinned female took up residence on Poe's left per the leader's request. What were these people fighting for? Was it for the most basic of necessities like them? Or was the safety and continuation of their community their greatest priority?

She had seen her comrades as they boarded the _Millenium Falcon_. Their eyes were pained and weary as they leaned on one another, some desperate for medical attention and others brewing with anger and determination to strike back at those that had wronged them. Yes, they were willing to stand back up and push back… But it was for them.

Desperation was a scary thing, and Rey felt it before. She wanted to believe it was something that could be controlled, and maybe even find hope within it. But the dark was not just a choice—it was a path that you could travel down without any knowledge of how to go back.

It was ironic that they be brought to stand before a slope in the ground, reminiscent of crudely dug grave. But contrary to how she pictured such structures, the dirt walls were relatively smooth and the steps leading downwards were packed together tightly enough to provide ample support. Still, the feeling was unusual, and Rey nearly lost her balance when all four of them began to descend at the same time.

The feeling of a hand on her upper arm made her flinch away, but the grip did not cease until they had reached the bottom. Were they expecting her to run? They weren't _really_ prisoners, were they? The leader didn't appear to have any ill-thoughts towards them, but the man beside her still had that energy that sparked whenever she drew near. She knew immediately that she wasn't to trust him without getting to know what his intentions were.

There wasn't much of a chance to think on it further, as they came up to a large steel "door" after scuffling in the dirt a few paces. The dark-skinned woman with them knocked on it lightly, and not a second later Rey was forced to back up as the door creaked open. The man on the other side winced as it did, having to put his whole weight into getting it to move at all. There was a moment where she thought he might ignore them, but of course, when he spotted the two things that did not belong, Rey felt his curiosity spike.

"Caleb bringin' in more strays?" the man prompted, his voice thick and almost inaudible. "I told 'im that it wouldn't be—"

"Not now," Riyuu answered, pushing them through the doorway and starting them down the corridor, barely lit by torches lining the walls.

Surprisingly, that seemed to end the conversation before it could even begin. Their attitudes earlier suggested they were wary of strangers, yet there were no more questions asked beyond that. The air down here was strange and suffocating, and Rey had no way to determine why. Her home had been a cramped space filled with only the bare minimum, but there was nothing for her to see here. Or hear.

She was reminded of the eerie vision she had received back at Maz Kanata's castle, consisting of various events that were most of her memories—her or Luke's. But some remained a mystery, since they couldn't possibly connect to her. Were they premonitions of what was to come? Or… merely things she couldn't remember?

It was stupid to think so. She could remember the basement of the castle that led her to her first awakening in the Force, and the sense of déjà vu that washed over her was not something to be ignored.

The experience that made her run from that of which was calling to her was not something she feared anymore. There were so many things—different scenarios swarming within her own mind that she needed to focus on. But while Maz's castle may have been dark and brooding, there was also a spark of life, even within its darkest depths. Whispers belonging to people she did not know, insisting that she was taking her first steps. Here, she felt nothing— _heard_ nothing, and it was enough to snap her back.

"Wait, what—" she started, turning just in time to see the woman pushing Poe to the side, through another arch that seemed to lead to another hallway.

"Hey—" Rey made a louder noise of protest, and could hear her companion's confusion and anger as he struggled, but their "hosts" paid little mind. The fact that she could still hear him suggested that it wasn't actually a hallway that he disappeared into, and upon closer inspection of the other arches as they came into view, Rey saw the doors that were erected just a few feet into the wall, hidden from view but present for the sole purpose of subtlety.

The lack of any communication was enough to set her off, and she ripped her arm out of her captor's grasp as she turned on him, demanding answers. "Why are you separating us?"

Riyuu's simmering anger was easy to place, but his ability to keep himself composed was admirable, if only slightly. "We do not know you, and you expect us to place you together where you can think of plans to do us harm?" The man scoffed. "I don't care whether or not you're telling the truth. If Caleb thinks you're worth something, he'll let us know. But until then, I'm following orders."

Orders. It was a strong influence, and one she immediately knew could prove to be her best bet. It couldn't work on the weak-minded. She _knew_ this. But she had to try.

"You will let me stay with him," she said, looking into the man's cold eyes.

What she received was an annoyed, if not confused expression. "Who do you think you are, to be making such a demand?" If she had seen the face of the Stormtrooper she had previously tricked into setting her free, then she imagined he might have worn the same face as the man before her. But now, seeing the face of her opponent strengthened her conviction.

She resisted the urge to raise her hand, feeling a pulse within her that made her waver with uncertainty. Mind over body, she had heard once, and she never had believed it until the truth was presented quite literally here.

" _You will let me stay with him._ " It was a true demand now, and one she backed up with an icy tone that barely matched the one that had allowed her triumph with overcoming the Stormtrooper. It was a cool, calm and collected air that she held then, and apparently, the true source of her success. Riyuu's eyes turned glossy for only half a second, but she knew before it came that he had resisted her attempts without even blinking.

The pulse present only moments ago had returned, and she felt just the slightest flicker within her—not the same as before. It was something different, something...

His hand was suddenly on her shoulder, spinning her around to face forward once more, and then on her back, pushing her down the hallway that just would not end. Poe's distress was palpable, but unlike her, he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. From the power she felt within Riyuu's mind, she had never stood a chance of outsmarting him with a meager mind trick.

They stopped suddenly, and like Poe, she was shoved through a doorway, opening up into a room that was hardly larger than her quarters on the _Millenium Falcon_. Her place on the ship had not necessarily been her own, but it felt warm and inviting, even with the negative energy surrounding it. Here, it was simply _empty_. Dirt walls, and a cot lying to the side. Neat, maybe, but closed off from the world in the worse possible bay.

The short beat turned into a spark, and as she swung her head around, it grew into a flame, settling on the eyes of Kylo Ren as he stared back at her.

The door was shut too quickly for her to react, and Kylo's eyes were quickly replaced by Riyuu's, hostile and threatening as he lifted the blaster to her, daring her to make a move. Rey could almost forget what it felt like to fear for her life, but the sudden appearance of _him_ made her stutter, and she just wasn't fast enough to reach for her own.

She slowly lifted her hands as a show of surrender.

"Measly mind tricks and clumsy grasps at the Force. You could've fooled me," Riyuu said, straightening his gaze when she twitched. "But you can't keep up your lies, no matter how innocent you believe yourself to be. You have brought him upon us."

She didn't need to ask what _him_ , despite how ridiculous he sounded. She only referred to him by the word now. But Riyuu couldn't have been aware of the First Order's location, nor Kylo Ren's. A Force-user? Maybe, but the darkness and lack of allegiance to one side or another suggested something else.

"The Jedi Killer. You think he will leave us be in exchange for your kind. But we are nothing but collateral damage—we'll simply be caught in the cross-fire."

The man spit at the dirt ground, forcing Rey to take frantic steps back when he stalked forward, pressing the cold end of the blaster to her forehead. Rey would have shouted back at him, had the pressure against her not forced her into silence. _This is crazy_.

They had evaded the First Order already, and they would continue to do so. Why did he think otherwise?

The breaths that escaped him were rough and unsettling, but his mind was even more so. He was thinking, with his head turned to the side eyes locked to the ground. One might think he was listening for something, but there was nothing to hear, at least not for her.

Nothing outside of the Force.

He let out a short, humorless laugh that she could almost mistake to be panicked. It was the first thing she had heard from him that sounded relatively shaken, and if the building pressure against her forehead was anything to go off of, he was scared. Terrified for his clan, and ready to end the threat at a moment's notice, should she even tilt her head the wrong way.

"You think you've outrun them—that you're one step ahead." He shook his head as he laughed again, but it was a sad sound, one that contrasted her confusion. Riyuu met her gaze evenly, no doubt catching on to just what she was feeling. "But you're not. You're at the end of a string, and they know it. They know where to look, and they're coming."

He stopped short, and Rey felt the tremor in the Force at the precise moment he did so.

"You," he suddenly breathed. "He's coming for _you_."


	6. take me high and i'll sing

**Author's Note:** And with that, I've reposted the chapters that I previously deleted. Now we can get back on the right track. (:

I guess this chapter really did take on a mind of its own. The first part was partially planned, but took a rollercoaster dive when it went in a completely separate direction than how I had envisioned it. But what really pushed me forward the most was the ability to delve into Rey's inner thoughts more, and how others might perceive her and Kylo's connection. I'd like to do this more as things begin to build, but I really hope you guys enjoy how this is going so far. Reminder that this is a slow-burn, but I promise things will pick up within this first part of the story. (; I'd also really appreciate if you guys could review and let me know what you think of how things are going!

 **Joanna:** Thank you for reading! Keeping in character can be really difficult at times, and there are many instances in which I wonder if I am doing them justice. But I am happy to see that you like how this story has picked up from The Last Jedi. c:

* * *

 ** _take me high and i'll sing  
_**

The feeling of fury was not foreign to him, but what hit him harder was the experience of being caught off guard. It didn't happen often enough for him to grow accustomed to it.

The Supreme Leader… _Snoke_ … he had summoned him at inopportune times before, sometimes in a position where Kylo couldn't possibly conjure up an excuse as to why he struggled so much. It was a rare thing indeed, him appearing weak, but what was more alarming was when he couldn't hide it from his Master. With hands clawing at your mind with no respite, any insecurities a person might have were brought out into the open. Exposed.

Kylo knew that facing them with a calm and clear-headed mind was nowhere near the most effective way to deal with such flaws. Not if someone was there, every second of every day, just waiting to catch him in a moment of weakness. Crushing them beneath you and refusing to look back was the only way.

 _The only way to keep yourself from falling._

It was this folly of peace, of ignoring the most base emotions that made him want to scoff out loud—maybe lash out for the single purpose of proving that such emotions made him stronger. But the thoughts of serenity among a world of chaos were not his, and he realized it just before he ignited his lightsaber.

The sharp fear he felt was soon followed up with a cluster of walls, not to block him out, but an entity that posed a threat to her. The room fell away from him quickly, the sound drawing out into a low hum that he wouldn't have been able to notice had he not been so in-tune to his surroundings only moments before. He saw a form cloaked in shadows, not solid, but enough to present itself as human. He couldn't say that he was caught off guard at the appearance of this… stranger.

He was caught off guard when he locked eyes with hers, set on the shadowed figure in front of her.

He was abruptly and unceremoniously shut off, a figurative wall slamming up between them. Rey had done it before, when she had purposely shut him away like he was a memory to be forgotten, like her parents. It took a moment for him to come back into the moment and acknowledge what she had done.

She was so willing to throw away what made them strong. That rush of adrenaline, that feeling of comradery and trust that flowed between them as he turned his back to her, not to turn her away, but to fight alongside. An enemy on the field she might be, but he sensed his own imprint on her, even if she hid it away like a dirty secret.

There was another piece at play here, keeping the wall between them with a mix of force ability as well as sheer willpower. But the wall began to dissolve as the entity's mind was drawn away, unable to keep a solid grasp on more than one thing at a time. It gave Kylo all the chances he needed to push through, watching the wall shatter around him like pieces of a mirror.

Like a switch, he was brought back to his own quarters, but not alone. She was clear to him now, standing a few yards opposite him with only inches between her back and the wall. The room she was in was undeniably small from where he could make her out, but seeing her here with him, he could almost believe that she was real.

Had she seen him? He felt put off at the idea that she could just be pushing him out—ignoring him. He was Supreme Leader—traitors had been brought to Snoke, and even the most rebellious of fighters had bowed to him before being executed. The resilience was to be expected, but to be outright _ignored_ was not something he was ready to take. What she had done before had no place now. One thing he knew for certain was this: Rey could not push him away entirely, neither by use of the Force nor by the seat of her own feelings.

She had fought beside him before betraying him entirely. To pretend that it did not happen was an attempt of hers to get away without due punishment—same with her rebel friends. But she had a reason for it, and he just wished he could understand _why_.

"Running away won't get you far, Rey," he spoke deeply, a gentle reprimand that went completely against the flurry of violent impulses he currently felt.

She didn't seem to notice him. He pressed his luck further by taking a few steps closer, but as he did, the dark form that had taken a blurry, inconsistent shape began to bleed back into view. Too close, far too close—Kylo hadn't even been prepared for it to return, and he moved swiftly to the side, keeping his grip on his lightsaber firm and ready. The darkness was… no, it wasn't from Rey. It wasn't a manifestation of the conflict he had felt brewing within her, nor was it the same darkness that he felt in its entirety.

 _"You called him here._ "

It wasn't her voice. It wasn't her, and it struck a nerve in Kylo that he couldn't place. His arm moved without consent, his fingers stretching out in a position meant to intimidate. Contrary to popular belief, he didn't always follow up a threat with retaliation. A strong show of intimidation could mean the difference between success and failure, when facing an opponent. But even when Kylo tried to grasp at this stranger's mind, he was cut off, the Force sliding away from his like sand on a desert.

Rey whipped her gaze in his direction, and he could see her face clearly now: not her surroundings, not even the thoughts running through her head. But he really saw was that she was not pushing him away. It was an opportunity he couldn't waste. His lip began to bleed when he dug his teeth in, but he gripped her end of the thread with unparalleled strength, pushing away the rising panic that he felt from her. It was not the kind of distress that came from his presence alone.

 _"Show yourself, Kylo Ren. I know you're here._ "

That voice again… He grinded his teeth as he held out his other hand, digging into the other manifestation he felt before. It was too easy, and the black smoke lapping at him and Rey began to dissipate as a man—an all too _familiar_ man—took its place. It was still blurry and unfocused, unlike the clear image of Rey, but it was also a face he thought he had destroyed, back when Luke's school fell. Those he had slaughtered were too set in their ways—all too willing to die in honor of the Jedi code. But those he brought along with him… not all of them turned out to be the men he hoped for them to become.

"The scavenger," he finally said, hissing through his teeth as the effort to speak without lashing out became steadily apparent. This man may be an everlasting enemy, or an unexpected ally. But he had nothing to lose by bartering with him if it meant getting what he wanted. What he had to do with Rey was not something he wanted to risk exploring. "Where is she located?"

"Scavenger?" the man responded bluntly, looking back to Rey is obvious confusion, as the term was not one to be tossed around casually. Kylo could already see Rey glaring daggers into him, but her fury did not seem to stem from the term itself, but rather the way he used it against her. He couldn't see how she could deny the label so harshly when it applied in so many different ways. Most of all, it kept her separate from him. For a moment, Kylo could see the hand that held the blaster wavering slightly, unsure whether or not to carry through with such an impulsive act.

Rey looked like she wished to speak, her stance defensive and ready to shut him out again, but Kylo cut her off, not only with his words but by the way of the Force that seemed to crackle with energy around them.

There were so many things he could have said to instill fear on either of them. Anything, really, as long as he showed that he was in control of whatever was happening between them. But his attention was quickly taken up by the man, and his words held the weight of his own efforts at holding back. "You don't get to kill her," Kylo finally hissed, suppressing the urge to choke the man, even though he did not have physical capabilities to do so.

If he reached out, he might be able to touch Rey like they had when they reached for one another before, in that hut that Rey had brought him to. But this man—this _snake_ — _him_ he couldn't touch, and he was the one standing between them with the answers that could give Kylo all the answers he wanted. It was a dangerous game, but he was willing to play.

For now.

Riyuu's memories were a river of broken glass and formless shadows, leading down a very different path than the one he had taken himself. Starting at the same place, but somehow ending up somewhere completely different. It was an interesting tidbit, but not one he was going to sift through right now. His outward appearance had grown cold, a clean break from that of him as a child, which gave Kylo the impression that wherever he was, he held a position of power that should not be taken lightly.

But he was not the only one. What followed was a standoff as Riyuu slowly lowered the blaster and stepped to the side, while also managing to keep himself in the prime position to strike. The image of him began to waver with the movement, and Kylo was drawn to Rey once more.

His eyes flickered back and forth as he tried to decipher just what she was thinking by her eyes alone. That brief flash of hope that he noticed was gone far too quickly. She still felt like things could change so easily between them, even with the weight of his offer and her betrayal still hanging over them. To see such a thing even in the face of obvious danger was not something he was willing to face.

If she was finding comfort and stability in the Force, he didn't know about it, and simply _not knowing_ was enough to set him back on the path he had devoted himself to. "You can't expect to hide yourself and your friends on an insignificant planet with no allies to help you," he stated, finally reaching forward, but being forced to halt when he felt invisible webs began to tangle around his feet.

It was an amateur attempt, one he could have easily shaken off, but the shift in the atmosphere was enough to break him of his concentration, and he watched, eyes seething at the interruption, as she replied, "Watch me."

The connection was closing, he knew, as the sounds around him began to seep back in. But he would not be left without the last word. "Luke Skywalker can't save you," he breathed, his words edging on a snarl as he took one long step to stand in front of her. The look of fear was not something she could ever hope to hide, especially from him, but it was her look of surprise and confusion that had him wanting to know more. Raising only two fingers, he pressed them softly against her collarbone. A test, maybe, but one that proved that the connection Snoke had supposedly forged had not ever been in his control.

The contact made Rey hiss as though she'd been burned, and he was sucked back into his world with no object out of place.

* * *

She could only guess how long she had remained frozen in the same spot, but the threat over her life still stood, even with the blaster hanging loosely from her hip. It wouldn't take much for her to just lift her hand and grab it, turning the tables on the man before her, but her senses felt sluggish and her body was unresponsive to what her mind was telling her. It was not just luck that she had managed to survive on Jakku alone, but there was the smallest voice in her head telling her that taking aim at Riyuu would lead her down a messy road. It wouldn't help the Resistance, nor would it serve as a way for her or Poe to get out of their current hold.

Never was she actively forced to use verbal communication to ensure her safety in the way she did now. Much like how she had dealt with the thugs who had tried to snatch BB-8 from under her nose, she would have responded swiftly with her staff and taken out whoever posed as the stronger of the two of them. At first glance, many would have underestimated her, but wits often outdid brute strength in the midst of a fight.

Whether Riyuu could outright read her mind was unknown to her, but she knew that he had lowered his own weapon for a reason. Kylo Ren's appearance was not expected, but seeing as he had yet to bring it up, she knew that there had to be more holding him back from resuming his violent attempt on her life. The Force here felt shaky and unnatural, slow to come to her call and unwilling to bend to the wills that she tried to infuse into those around her. It was fighting against her in the worst possible way, but even reaching out had her discovering little more than a hollowness that could not be compared to the darkness she had felt more than once before.

"Where do you come from?"

Riyuu hadn't noticed the change in her as she tried to summon the Force—or if he did, he didn't try to stop her. Could it have been too much trouble for him? Rey liked to believe that she held a certain amount of power that some did not, but there was no control with her. Nothing for her to grasp, and nothing for her to wield beside the weapons that grounded her to the physical world.

 _Untrained, and incomplete._

She might have expected the words to come from someone like Kylo Ren, back when they had fought on Starkiller Base. His insistence that he be the one to teach her the ways of the Force—it was an offer she had venomously refused with her actions more than words, leading to her leaving him bleeding and broken in the snow as she had returned to her unconscious friend.

It was only the soft whisper in her head that made her turn around, and even as far apart as they were, she could see the face of agony she had left behind. It was the face of a man who had failed his greatest challenge, but she could not guess who exactly he had pinned those failures on. Until now, she hadn't thought to figure it out.

"Don't make me ask again," Riyuu ordered, sheathing the blaster. Her eyes followed it, wondering why he would aim for other methods of intimidation when he could very well threaten her with real, physical pain. But it was the chill she had felt earlier, the same one that radiated around him that kept her still and unprepared to fight him. Know your enemy, she had heard time and time again. But Kylo's last words left her confused, unable to distinguish between who she could rely on and who was just waiting for her to turn her back to them. Why would he use Luke as a threat against her?

"Nowhere." There was no real use in lying. Not really, and it let her skip past the most obvious questions that might be asked. It was inconsequential at this point, and given that she spoke nothing but the truth from her point of view, there was nothing of leverage for them to hold over her in the ways of information. But in the same way she had denied it before, she was quick to retract her words. "Jakku," she added on. _A nobody can't give them what they want._ It was a reassurance to herself, but it brought her down in ways that she refused to face.

 _You're nothing._

 _But not to me._

Riyuu lifted his chin, his temper partially subdued. "Separate from your friend, then. I figured. You two don't look like you're from the same batch."

 _Batch?_ "What is that supposed to mean?" She didn't intend to sound as snippy as she did, but it was imperative that she take the ground that was given to her. It did no good to walk around like she was some easily-startled animal, especially since the man before her looked ready to take advantage of any sign of weakness she might show. But even with her show of bravado, she was fighting a losing battle, and the knife that appeared in place of his blaster was just a subtle yet also very prominent reminder that he held all of the cards.

"I wouldn't get ahead of yourself, kid," Riyuu drawled. "We're not enemies—not officially, even with you giving me every reason to kill you where you stand."

"Neither of us have done anything," Rey argued, unable to keep the exasperation from seeping into her tone. Keeping a level head in the face of adversity was a worthy trait to hold, and for someone like General Leia, it was almost impossible to live without it. But meditation was not an easy skill to master, and with someone akin to an assassin standing right in front of her, playing nice was the least of her worries. She couldn't help but grit her teeth as she raised her voice. "You can't just keep us apart! The Resistance needs us—needs help. That's all we came here for."

"You're fighting a war that can't be won," the man responded almost immediately, practically ignoring everything else she had said. "And you bring with you a danger that we can't protect ourselves from. You've dragged the First Order here, drawn the attention of the leader of the _Knights of Ren_. You presume to tell _me_ that we should put aside our ways that have kept us alive to help _you_?"

"We—" Rey started, but paused before she could get out anything else. The Knights of Ren—Kylo Ren. How much did this man actually know? The anger that threatened to burst forth was suddenly subdued, replaced by an intense curiosity that she knew could give her more than he was immediately offering. "…How do you know of them?"

"The ones that Snoke allows to do his bidding?" _Snoke_. So this man did not know everything that had happened. "…The galaxy knows their place in the First Order. Knows the Jedi Killer by the nursery stories they tell their children." He peered at her then, mirroring her suspicion with his own morbid sense of curiosity, but he wasn't looking straight at her. Instead, his eyes were flickering up and down, as though looking for something. "Again, you don't wear the emblem of the side you claim to support. You and Ren—does he lay claim to you?"

" _Claim_?" It was such an offensive term in the context she took it in, but Riyuu's meaning sounded far more official. "N—no, he doesn't lay _claim_ to me."

Riyuu smiled then, a strange off-beat smile that Rey would have described as malicious had his body language shown he was not ready to use the knife he held tight beside him. "Yet you wear his imprint like a badge, walking around without any care to how this… _connection_ of yours manifests itself." Riyuu laughed. "That and the lack of evidence towards you actually working with the Resistance… Well, some might think you were playing both sides."

He didn't need to state his thoughts outright: they showed in the words he threw in her face as well as the way he looked at her. It was different than how he looked at Poe, but similar in the blatant distrust and fury that came from needing to protect his own. It was scary, that they were both trying to secure safety for their groups, but he would not see it that way. He saw her as someone ready to collect all the knowledge she could in order to appease the Order.

"I didn't create it," Rey breathed, trying to collect herself through the accusation. Anything she said could be held against her. "I swear that to you. He can't see my surroundings, and he doesn't know where I am. I _promise_ you."

It sounded heavy on her tongue. How could she know for sure that the First Order did not know where they were? She had heard his voice through the bond, asking for her location, which made it clear enough that he did not currently know. But that was now. She might have tried to shut it out, but all that proved to her was how resilient Ben Solo really was.

 _Kylo Ren._

A name she couldn't associate with him after… after what had happened. But it had held so much meaning to her then, when she thought she could bring him back. But he had pulled away just as much as she had. Now… as long as he targeted those she loved, he would carry the name that sparked the same hatred that it had before, only now, all she could feel was a dull ache that bordered on physical illness.

Resilient. She felt the flame of his force-signature at the other end, but could not reach it in the same way he could hers. Call it lack of experience, or simply being unfocused, but her Force abilities would not match his in the way it had when the Skywalker lightsaber had split between them. Balanced they had been then, and now, split like the 'saber, she was left feeling fractured.

The mental torment she was placing on herself must have been obvious, as she felt Riyuu's silence carry throughout the tiny room. He wore a face of indifference, but also vast intelligence. "You do not carry a lightsaber," he finally said, and Rey looked up when she felt an invisible pressure push against her chin. His eyes narrowed as he continued, "And your mind is not whole in the way of a Jedi."

It was the first time she had heard someone outside of the Resistance speak the word, and it brought with it a feeling of both pride and intimidation. But most of all fear.

"Fear," Riyuu breathed, turning his back to her so quickly that she flinched. "The path to the dark side. You've heard it, haven't you? Skywalker had always been quite basic with his teachings."

It was an instinctual reaction to defend the man—the man who had left an empty space where his Force signature had resided. She hadn't known him long, but he was Leia's brother—a legend to so many, but actual flesh and blood to her. A legend she got to meet in person, who turned out to be more human than anyone would have ever guessed. "Who are you?" Rey pressed, her brow creasing as she took a step forward, ready to take the answers now that she had given her own.

The man actually looked guilty in a way, and she would have been left to wonder why, had he not been ready with his own retort. "Your master gave you his story of Kylo Ren's destruction of his students, didn't he?" Riyuu asked, looking down before letting out a dry, humorless laugh. "Some of us—them… they were killed. Beaten, slaughtered, to prevent the Jedi from rising once more. Others— _we_ , I—I wished to live. I wished to rise above what had been expected of me since the very beginning. I followed along, and became strong enough to break the ties set on me by the old man. I was free."

"You followed Kylo," Rey said plainly, the name tasting foul on her tongue. "You thought he was right."

"Kylo Ren has not and will never be strong in the way he wishes to be," Riyuu recounted, and for a split-second, the man reminded her of a younger Luke, resigned with his failures threatening to pull him under. It was with defeat that Luke had declared that the Jedi must end, with his lessons to her coming from a place of spite and…

 _Failure._

The failure to reach his friends. The failure to help his sister.

The failure to save his nephew.

"You are the last Jedi, then?" The man's voice was quiet and subdued, but brimming with the need to know more.

To be referred to as the last Jedi had brought with it many feelings, most of them revolving around determination—determination to keep her friends safe, and bring about justice to those who deserved it.

It felt bland now, like a dream that had died long before she could ever hope to reach it. That hope was hard to hold onto, even if you could see it plainly in front of you. Rey believed that by taking on the name, she might inspire that same hope that Luke had when he had stood tall against the First Order. It was the kind of light that had made her master a legend, long after he had disappeared. His actions had made him a figurehead for the fight against the dark, but it was his role as a Jedi that brought about the light in people who really knew him.

Nobody really knew her, did they? Finn cared for her, yes, and General Leia looked at her in the ways that Rey had always wished to see in a mother. But that dream had been a lie, something she had fabricated within her mind to give her something to hold onto. She was as much in the dark as the rest of them—only now, she was continuing a façade that she should have learned to let go of. Believing in a fairytale—now that was hypocritical of her.

Kylo told her what she already knew, but refused to say. The truth was with her, but she would not admit it. It was for her own survival at the time, and it had kept her from breaking down entirely over those seemingly endless cycles spent on Jakku.

Maybe a fairytale was what some people needed to believe in.

"I am."

The words were muted to her, lacking the truth but holding out hope for those who might still wish to find it.

The flames bit at his skin, surrounding him until he was brought out of his sleep by the feeling of burns marring his body. The wounds were sharp and cutting, but left no marks on him, even as he saw them. A dream, he had to guess, but within moments of waking, he realized that his senses were his own. He was fully awake, and the fire around him was not meant to be touched. Nothing was there, yet he felt it just the same.

He saw her then, fully engulfed as she sat in the corner of the room. The picture of her was clear enough for him to make out, but he was frozen as her anguish washed over him like a tidal wave, making his chest ache with the type of pain that could immobilize someone and knock them unconscious. Kylo moved forward instantly, pressing his nails into the sheets as he attempted to stand, but almost immediately, his legs stopped working altogether and fell out from under him.

The sharp physical agony that raced through him was as real as a lightsaber through the calf, and yet, still nothing had touched him. The Force was gathering around her like a flood, black and blue swirling around with no clear direction. But with her arms curled around her legs and her face pressed into her knees, he didn't need to search the Force to feel that same overwhelming torture that she was placing upon herself, projecting the feeling so strongly that he couldn't even take a breath.

Even with the loss of feeling in his limbs, he dragged himself forward on his knees, tasting blood as he bit through his lip. The sparks of fire still flew from her, but he could still feel what was underneath.

When he touched her, it was partly to feel her—to see that she was here, with him, and not some illusion that he had to suffer through under the nightmares that continued to plague him. His dreams still came to him, the kind that had him driving the lightsaber through his father over and over. It was real, but not in his dreams. In his dreams, he had to see it happen with Snoke just behind him, pushing and pushing until—

She was here. _She_ was real, and the grip her fingers had over her knees did not loosen, even when his own pressed softly against her.

The dark waves began to recede just by his proximity, but she still did not move. He saw her tears, then, as the image began to fade away and leave him reaching for what was not actually there. She wasn't there in the way he had prayed for her to be, no matter how delusional that hope may have been. He could move now, with the pain just a dull ache in his legs. Yet, he did not move from where he lay crumpled on the floor, sweat dripping down his brow and arm outstretched.

Rey had not heard him, or felt him, but the demons she had built up inside would not stay away. The light within her were their beacon, and the dark within him was their greatest enemy.

She would hold onto her light, and he would meet her half way.


	7. stranded in this spooky town

**Author's Note:** This was really a whirlwind chapter for me. I've had a part of this written before I started editing the first six chapters, and it was a little hard to get back into the headspace for it, but I think I really do like how it turned out. To really dig into the insecurities of a character, you have to go to a pretty dark place yourself, but I do believe it was worth it in this case.

I hope you enjoy, and I do ask that you review if you can. It makes me smile. (:

* * *

 ** _stranded in this spooky town_**

She couldn't have been mistaken when she had felt him.

Night, day… Rey couldn't even really be sure, with the walls around her preventing her from seeing the outside world. The dim light in the middle of the room had been appreciated at first when she had attempted to sleep, but after waking up with no sense of time or way to tell how long she'd actually been lying on the cot, she felt confused and irritated, her body telling her to go back to sleep while her mind insisted that she stay awake and present.

Riyuu had left her shortly after their conversation, reiterating that their leader would come to speak to both her and Poe. But it left her waiting, sitting on the ground and letting the dirt mark her clothes with no care to how she would appear later on. It was more comfortable than the "bed" in the corner of the room, and she had settled down in the hopes that it would not be long before she could get some answers.

She had only intended to rest for a short while, with her face pressed against her knees with her arms wrapped around her legs. It was a physical release for her, with the pressure leaving her neck and shoulders and allowing her to let out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. The lack of space was not a new concept for her, but that was when she used it as a safety net. Confined to an area she did not know made her shiver with barely concealed rage and anxiety, while the presence at the other side of the room only grew more prominent.

Kylo wasn't gone for good, but he might as well be. Luke was gone, with the Force where he belonged. It must be peaceful, being away from the politics and struggles of the war that was being fought right outside their doorstep. It used to be such an outside problem when all she had to worry about was finding her next meal, but now she was a part of this. She was the last Jedi, holding the torch for others to follow, with no possible way to know what to do or who to turn to.

Her nails dug into her leggings, hoping to find some leverage that would ground her. This was to be a simple mission that would get her friends the supplies they needed—maybe gather a few allies that would support their cause. But all it felt like now was them jumping from one adversary to the next, hiding like criminals. Of course it would be in their nature to protect their own before others, but the selfishness that came with ignoring everyone else was something else. Something… something she could not claim to be innocent to.

Rey rubbed her palm under her eyes, feeling the grit smear against her cheek and the sheet of sweat that had built up around her face. Her breathing came in shallow gasps, and she would have blamed it entirely on feeling claustrophobic had she not felt the tightening in her chest and the dampness in her eyes.

She couldn't do this again. A month she had held herself together, and she would continue to do so for as long as she was needed.

The grip she held on her leggings slowly transitioned to her skin itself, and she dug in hard, leaving small crevices where she touched as she bit down on her tongue. She wanted to scream, to let out all of the doubts and frustration that came from fighting on the losing side. With no victory or relief in sight, they would never be able to sit down and just _be_. That lack of refuge, that feeling of hopelessness… she would be a fool to think that it would go away just by putting faith in her General.

Her eyes flicked upwards when she heard him fall, but she couldn't keep herself looking ahead. She grabbed her knees tighter, feeling the need to make herself as small as possible. Protected, she felt. But there was no protection here, not with him, and not in a place so cut off from everything and everyone she loved. He could find her without needing to look, leaving her exposed in the worst way possible.

She should have felt him move, but as the tear ran down her face, she let her senses slip away. He didn't touch her face, and she didn't even try to feel for his intentions. His fingers pressed against her knee, a mere inch from her own fingers, and she felt a short, soothing wave wash over her. The feeling of cool water on her skin was much like what she felt on Ahch-to when the rain came, leaving her hair damp and her senses open. It was one of the most amazing experiences she had, with the silence to think and the beauty of the ocean in front of her.

The sensation ran down her arm like the ghost of fingertips, and she might have reacted from the cold had it been unexpected. But it was just enough to lull her into a comfortable state that made her eyes clear and the Force go quiet. Might she have been able to connect more with herself this way? It brought her out of her body and into peace, a way to disconnect and feel what was around her without the physical world getting in the way. The whisper of Master Luke in her ear as she meditated… she remembered. Remembered what she saw, in the way that life grew from the island, in the way death and decay happened naturally, only to create new life.

But it had been the whispers on the other side, the ones coaxing her forth that had drawn her away. Her teacher's horrified expression was what drew out her terror at being left alone once more. She couldn't forget that look of fear. Clinging to that cliff face, she was left with the very real possibility that she was simply destined to walk her path alone, with only one pair of footprints to mark how far she had come.

She clenched her eyes tighter when the coolness left her body, being replaced by a warmth that was far too unnatural to come from a physical object. Finn's embrace when he had found her on Starkiller Base, Leia's hand resting on her arm after their ordeal… it was not the touch of flesh that brought about such emotions, but rather, the emotion behind it all. The fear, the relief, and the love. It was not something she could have felt before, because it was not something _to_ be felt.

There were extremes. Luke had seen them, and Rey didn't have to ask him about it to know just what it meant. That refreshing chill, that unwavering warmth… they settled not quite at the middle, but just where their presence could be felt. It felt like an ally that would never leave, clinging to her with a ferocity that told her that everything she thought to be right—everyone that said the First Order had only a singular goal, that the Resistance would prevail from faith alone… that Kylo Ren could be turned so easily…

It was the heat sparking within her that brought pain, even if she could not physically respond to it. Her body remained still, leaning back against the wall with a form that still could not be described as content. Her eyes clenched tighter as the soothing warmth turned against her, a blazing inferno inside and out. Anger, she felt it through her, but not from her alone, and she was brought back only by the touch that had grown desperate against her.

It moved against her leg, up to her elbow, but the hold was not friendly, nor did it possess any of the light that she had felt before. Now, it was burning, sinking its claws in deep as she let out a scream—

Biting cold slapped her in the face as she jerked forward, her eyes wide with fear and her body quivering erratically. Water dripped down her face, onto her clothing and then to the dirt floor. It was soaked up around her, but still clung to Rey. She might have thought it to be the Force pulling her back, but it did not have that kind of power now. Dragging her eyes upward, she saw Riyuu holding the bucket with shaky hands, only lowering it when Rey closed her mouth and looked straight at him.

"You find what you were looking for?" he snapped, and Rey couldn't even begin to respond. "Of course not, you couldn't even pull yourself away. Why not trash the rest of the room while you're at it?"

Rey could only give him a puzzled look, but still couldn't help but glance to the side. Her "bed" was now turned over, the legs holding it up splintered and irreplaceable. The dirt lining the walls had been scraped away, leaving crude holes that would leave fingertips bruised and bloody should one have tried to dig into it. Her hands twitched, conveying her nervous energy, but they were clean. She hadn't moved from her spot.

"You think _I_ did this?" she asked incredulously, pushing herself up and wincing when her back cracked and all feeling returned to her feet.

"The Force doesn't care for its user, nor does it wait to be told what to do." His reply was sharp and calculated, but not without a hint of frustration that she had grown to associate the man with. Without any prompting, he threw the bucket to the side and opened the door behind him, holding out a hand that invited her to walk through. She looked dumbfounded.

"You're letting us leave?" She wished she didn't sound so hopeful, but standing here shivering, the cold hitting her right where the water had seeped through her clothing, she couldn't help it.

"That wasn't the plan, Jedi," he explained, lowering his hand when it was clear she wasn't leaving ahead of him. "You are not the only one here with questions. However, I told our leader about your… _specialty_. He is concerned, and wishes you to speak to someone."

" _Specialty_?" Was that what they were calling it now? It was such a casual term, and one Rey felt could not possibly fit something as monumental as the Force. Her ears burned with both irritation and embarrassment. "I told you what you needed to know. Why do you need to know more?"

Riyuu rubbed a hand across his face, and Rey was momentarily regretful that she was pushing him so far. If she and Poe still wished for their help, antagonizing them was not the right way to go. But she didn't get this far without following her curiosity, and she justified her question by simply needing to be sure that whatever she might say wouldn't be used against the Resistance.

"The person I'm taking you to might be able to help," Riyuu said, his voice clipped as he traveled down the dark hall, hands clasped tightly behind his back. It was the appearance of an official, but the tightness of his muscles and clenching of his jaw told her all she needed to know: he was not a character built on a moral code like hers, nor was he completely set on his tribe's regulations. "A connection such as yours, it is rare… similar properties to other bonds, though. Walls keep people out, but mental shields keep curious minds from going where they don't belong."

He turned towards her then, lifting a brow that Rey caught as meaning that she needed this, should she wish to keep herself hidden… Keep her friends hidden.

"Alright," she finally said after a pause, and he passed the large man that had "welcomed" them earlier to press against the metal door, letting his boots dig in as he forced it open.

It was in her nature to offer help, but she wasn't able to do so before he swung it the rest of the way. It was an act she found as odd, seeing how much of a struggle it was, but Riyuu didn't show any signs of it. He didn't even bother saying anything, and Rey was left feeling all the more confused and out of place when her own ability to move with the Force wavered, leaving her with the impression that she was on an island, surrounded by enemies on both sides.

It was a nauseating feeling, and it would have been left to fester had she not caught sight of Poe being led out of his own room, free of restraints and looking no worse for wear, her negative thoughts melted away and she turned away from Riyuu to run to Poe.

Rey shouldn't have felt relieved as she did when she felt his arms go around her in a brief embrace. They had been apart for not even a full day, if the sky was any indication of the time that had passed, but simply having someone who she knew—who knew _her_ —was enough of a reassurance to her that they would not be here forever. They were not alone, no matter how often she was separated from her friends. She always found her way back, didn't she?

The last thought left an almost bitter taste in her mouth, but the feeling of Poe giving her back a quick rub before pulling back to smile at her was enough to put her back into the right mindset. She might not know him well, not having the chance to really _get_ to know him in the time they spent on the run, but her loyalty to him and the Resistance was unquestionable. They protected their own, and they didn't need to know every detail of one another to feel such a bond.

She smiled back, but it faltered when she remembered just how much these attachments meant to her. She forged them herself, and in turn, found a purpose that she couldn't say she had before. Rey hadn't intentionally sought them out, but still managed to build a place for herself, even among the rubble that was left.

It burned, the feeling she got when she admitted to herself that her bond with Kylo was created in much the same way: thrown into a situation neither of them were familiar with, but coming to develop their connection it into one of positivity—of _just being_ there when one of them was needed. But that little bit of optimism, those _expectations_ —they had failed her in the same way that every previous expectation she had failed.

"I gotta hope they fed you," Poe said, and Rey couldn't help but laugh at the out-of-place comment. "They _did_ feed you, right?"

They didn't, but Rey couldn't say it mattered. She knew that he was trying to keep her close, giving her a reason to stick by him. Unfortunately, it wasn't up to her alone. Had they been stuffed away into a real cell for a week's time, a month's time, she might have felt more justified in carrying hatred towards their captors. But she really couldn't call them that—so far, they hadn't been tied in chains, or told they couldn't eventually leave.

However, the person who had come to stand at her back was a blunt reminder that they didn't have the same freedom they would have aboard the _Millenium Falcon_ and moving through space with only their comrades. It was funny to think of that as _freedom_ , when all they had really been doing was running. Now, all she wanted was to find out what they could gain from these people, and return to her friends with some good news—something of substance, at least.

"Sidra," Riyuu called suddenly, and the dark-skinned woman he had seen earlier followed Poe into the dim light of the hall. "Take Dameron and allow him to send a contact to his affiliates. We will ensure that no danger will come to us."

The last statement was made with a short, private nod that Rey was obviously not supposed to take any meaning from. In other words, Sidra was meant to keep an eye out, and prevent Poe from saying anything that would share too much about their clan. It might have caused Rey to object, had Riyuu not just basically allowed them to speak to the Resistance with little issue. Poe looked ready to follow, but turned back just before doing so.

"What about Rey?" he pressed, giving Riyuu a once-over. The man looked undisturbed.

"We're going to speak to a friend of mine. You two will be brought together afterwards."

What "friend" he was referring to still baffled her, even with the assumption that they could possibly help her with her… problem.

 _Don't say it like that._

It felt wrong to call it a problem, as much as Riyuu might think of it as one. Not just that, but should the Resistance find out, should _Leia_ find out… She didn't want to know how everyone might look at her. But should she let it grow, let it develop into something more, it only increased the likelihood of Ren using it against her.

 _But would he?_

It was an internal battle she had instigated with herself many times before, but she never received a straight answer.

"I'm okay," she reassured Poe with a grim smile, but it was for more his sake than hers.

"As long as you know what you're doing, I don't have to worry." It was a courageous statement, and one she thought was pretty arrogant, especially with the audience they had. But it held just enough confidence to make her feel more certain about just what they had to do. Suddenly, he cocked a brow and looked her up and down, a confused expression replacing the previously cocky one. "What happened to your clothes?"

Oh. She had almost forgot the water that Riyuu had so graciously thrown onto her. Rey readied herself for a reply, but was quickly cut off.

"Time for that later. Come on," Riyuu pushed, redirecting her back towards the exit to the barracks, and she once again had no choice but to watch Poe be lead in the other direction, with his eyes looking back at her with something akin to concern in his gaze. It really wasn't too surprising, seeing the kind of impression Riyuu gave off when he spoke.

The door opened again, and this time Riyuu didn't hesitate before pushing her through, giving her little opportunity to turn back and rejoin Poe.

She felt the eyes on her again, but there was no embarrassment this time as she walked freely from the man behind her. He might be the one directing them, but she still had her wits, and that was enough for her to feel comfortable at the moment. At least, comfortable enough.

They came to an abrupt stop when Riyuu declared, "Here." She saw nothing at first, just various branches and foliage among a rock-face that looked far too out of place to be considered normal. Then she reevaluated what she saw, and nearly called herself out on her idiocy. Some scavenger she was. No one would have passed up something like this on Jakku, something so un-fitting that it was bound to be hiding something.

Pushing a few of the leaves and branches, she found herself in a similar space as the barracks, with dim lighting surrounding her and an aura that would never be normal. Different from before, though, is that the space she stood in was roomier, with the walls not flat like a normal room, but rather chiseled away like one would find in a wild cave. Numerous candles lined the walls, standing on small "shelves" that were merely crude formations that came from nature itself.

Everything here came from nature, which was why it was so easy to pick out the woman who sat near the back, her posture still and one hand splayed out on the makeshift table in front of her. The other held a small cup up to her lips, and Rey was only able to see her whole face when she pulled it away. An older woman, with sharp features and short, cropped hair. It was wispy in ways, dark brown locks streaked gray with age. Her eyes, however, were a deep green, and it was honestly the most youthful part of her.

"You bring me a stranger," she said, and Rey couldn't hide her surprise at how clean her voice was. It did not match her outward appearance at all, and it made Rey feel like any and all of her expectations were best left outside. Given just a moment in her presence, the woman continued, "…and for good reason, apparently."

It was challenging to hold onto that air of confidence and remain devoid of emotions, especially with the person in front of her seemingly able to pick up on those things she tried her hardest to keep hidden.

"Your thoughts are very loud, child. Do be considerate and speak what you think."

It was a demand, really, but Rey was so dumbfounded that she couldn't manage a word. This place felt so similar to the one she had stayed in last night, yet the woman before her was able to fill it with her presence alone. It was the type of power she had seen rarely, and sometimes unrelated to the Force at all. But the one most recent—the one she knew the best—currently used his power at the helm of the Order. Suddenly, she was reminded of just why she was here.

"The Force," Rey finally breathed, hating the way her voice cracked as she spoke, but giving herself no chance to stop. A quick glance at Riyuu told her that he was not going to say anything, and Rey saw the truth that she had to take the next steps on her own. She knew why she was here. "Bonds through the Force. What do you know about them?"

"The Force?" the woman echoed, giving Rey an incredulous look that might have had her assuming she had just asked about the meaning of the universe. But given just a moment, Rey saw the confusion and suspicion fade away from her in the same way that it did from her tone. "Ah, that must have been the energy I felt before... I know about bonds—not a great deal, mind you, but I've read my history, and have some basic knowledge."

"Basic knowledge," Rey repeated, hoping that it might hold some deeper meaning, but she couldn't be sure until she heard it herself. "How they form, how they work… It doesn't matter. I just need _something_."

"You wish to know more about them?" she asked, turning to Rey completely. "I cannot give you too many details, as they have been lost over time, but basic knowledge _does_ give leeway into discovering the answers for yourself. What kind of answers are _you_ seeking, child?"

Rey saw faces, then. The face of Poe as he tried to keep spirits up as they escaped death after the fleet had been destroyed. The face of Finn as he struggled to keep himself together, a beacon of protection for a cause that hadn't originally been his. The face of the General, the one who had lost so much, but was still willing to give all she had in order to ensure the family she had formed would be safe.

This decision was hers to make, but there was little more for her to do on her own. From here, she would give something from herself, and hope that it would be enough.

"A bond," she breathed the words softly, and felt a piece of her leaving with them. "How would you break it?"

* * *

Silence was something Kylo Ren had grown used to. Being alone in his quarters was a common occurrence, and he could even reach a level state of meditation if he tried hard enough. It was all through his choice, never another's. Having the ability to shut the door in someone's face and declare that he should be left alone was not only a show of his power as an authority figure, but the rights he held as a human being. Snoke couldn't reach him here, and these were the moments that gave him peace.

But that was when he knew he could rely on the voices in his mind to keep him sane when he returned to the world of the living.

It was empty now, the part of his mind that constantly tried to build up walls unnatural still. Snoke's presence in his head had vanished as though it had never been there, and it was like a gaping wound that he had no real idea how to heal. He looked down at his hands and turned them over, making sure his senses were still with him. Everything was normal… Normal, as it had always been, but so very different.

His fists struck down at the bed beneath him, letting the shock run through him until he was left the same as before. He might think himself to be deaf, had the Force not allowed him to pick up the sounds of movement beyond the door that separated him from the rest of the crew. It must have been odd for any witness, as he flicked his head back and forth as though he might just spot Rey in his quarters the same way he had the night before. But he was left feeling even more frustrated as the moments passed.

The bond lay still, and did not open up, even with his attempts at prying. How could he do it? He didn't have a clue as to how it worked. It required knowledge of a technique he did not possess—who had experienced a Force bond first hand and thought to cite their experience? Snoke was known to hold his thoughts close. Should there be information worth anything, he would never seek to make it eternal in books or scripts. No, it would die with him.

And it had.

His fists crashed down once more, but with it, he was brought to his feet by a strong will that left him short of breath. He needed to take action, now, or he would lose his mind.

Opening the door brought him face-to-face with Hux, who looked momentarily surprised, but quickly masked his face into one of coolness and indifference. Professional, but it was a face he had known for too long. A pragmatic general he may be, but he was also human, with very human faults that left him susceptible to those who could pick him apart bit by bit. Kylo did not underestimate his ability to resist mind probes, but the narrowing of the general's eyes told him that it might just be worth pushing just the tiniest bit more.

"I had hoped you were awake," Hux said, straightening his stance and giving Kylo a once-over. "We have gone to work sifting through the planet's coordinates, and there are places of interest that might prove… useful." The look of contempt directed towards Kylo might have only served to boost his own ego, but not today. Today, his mind was as straight as an arrow, and it pointed to one thing—the Resistance, and the girl who had betrayed him.

It felt like he was being toyed with—one moment, she left herself vulnerable and welcome to him, and the next, she was trying to strike him down. It left him a mess, and a part of him wondered if that was her plan the whole time: play mind tricks on him, making him believe one thing only to stab him in the back. The fact that she could do this without using the Force to help her was infuriating, and it left him feeling the same way he had when he failed some of Snoke's most basic tests as a boy.

Kylo waited with baited breath, unwilling to share his reasons for why he was in such a hurry, but as the pause dragged on, he knew that Hux would not give him the information outright. Was this man expecting him to ask? Who did he think he was speaking to?

Hux's face grew slightly red as Kylo placed pressure on his neck, but it was not enough to prevent him from speaking. It dissipated after only a second.

 _Just to let him know I'm still here._

"What place would be most likely to harbor them?" Kylo finally asked.

He might have thought the man was ready to continue their stand-off, but Hux was apparently losing the will to fight as well. The more time they spent pulling in different directions, the more time they would waste. Kylo would be damned if in the middle of Hux's little hissy-fits, the Resistance managed to slip by unseen. Hux seemed to realize this as well, and Kylo had to respect him just a little. The man was many things, but stupid was not one of them.

"I have it on good authority that this planet might have housed a base at one time or another, or something similar to it. It has been dormant for years. But there are a few villages in close range, untouched civilizations that could easily provide resources or refuge for the filth that might have sought them out." He nearly spat the words, but Kylo only wished to spit back, _I know this already_.

"You think that they will seek out the base before anything else," Kylo pressed. The man was not difficult to read.

"They have been decimated, left with little survivors and no way to strike back without risking everything. What does an animal do when it has been struck down?" The general raised his chin, and Kylo felt his hatred bubbling under the surface. "It hides. It tries to disguise itself so that it cannot be found. They will not be able to rebuild if they are cut off from their only possible allies, and if they choose to stay together, it is all the more probable that we can catch them against a wall. No escape."

The strategy was one he knew all too well. Backing your enemy into a corner, blocking off their air so they couldn't take another breath.

But Hux was not thinking of just _who_ they were fighting against, and just what members of the Resistance might be willing to do should they be forced to face a threat such as them.

Dameron was a character known for his reckless antics, but they also proved to be a real hazard against the Order's operations. Acting on impulse might be a trait to take advantage of, but the pilot was far too smart. His actions might have unforeseen consequences, but they always resulted in a significant loss. The Dreadnought was far too recent for him to forget, but also one that brought up memories of taking out the Resistance bombers in retaliation. Whatever move they make, they would not completely succeed in.

That was only _one person_.

 _For all I know, FN-2187 is still with them._

The man knew information about the First Order—information that, while not crucial for their survival, could prove to be a hindrance should the man happen to know more than Hux assumed. He had only been a Stormtrooper, after all, but he had already managed to sneak aboard simply by seeking out those who knew more than he did. Try as they might, there was no weeding out traitors from within their own ranks. That only left…

Rey.

The girl stood in the way of everything. She held a barrier between him and the rest of the kind she associated herself with, and he couldn't be sure it was intentional. Never had he been able to see her surroundings when he felt their bond come to life, but it was something. Who was to say he couldn't draw her closer? They had gone from seeing one another to actually being able to _feel_ each other. There was no telling the limitations or the possibilities.

"Care to explain what is going on in that head of yours?" Hux interrupted him, voice gruff and unforgiving as he made sure that Kylo heard. "Or is it more Force nonsense? We have pressing matters to attend to, Ren. It might help for you to give some insight."

Kylo might have opened his mouth to reply, but he had to bring himself back on track. The planet, the Resistance, the base…

"You say there might be a base on this planet," Kylo recalled.

Hux gave a curt nod. "Thank you for reiterating that, Ren."

 _Just give me one reason…_

"We will find this base and see if it might lead us in the right direction. If you're right, then the Resistance will already be trying to reach it."

Hux creased his brow and peered at him, and Kylo cursed himself for sounding so utterly agreeable after nearly insulting the man only seconds before.

"Why does—"

"I have my own methods that might allow us more than one victory, General," Kylo finally asserted, and that was apparently all he needed to stake his claim on head of operations. Hux may be the speaker between the two of them, but _he_ was the one making the decisions. He refused to let this idea of insecurity and lack of direction take him away from what was important. Snoke never made his hesitation known, but that was also to say he ever really hesitated to begin with.

Snoke may have shown his greatest weakness in his last moments, but Kylo would pick up on his strengths: the strengths that would ultimately allow him to get closer to victory than they ever had before.

"The base is our first target. You will send two groups out to scout for tracks or any sign of unregistered ships."

"And what will _you_ be doing, _Supreme Leader_?"

He couldn't even spit back at the General, or respond to his jab. He felt something pulling him in the other direction, down the corridor were Stormtroopers began to conjugate. Their nerves and internal conflicts were of no importance to him, as he had grown used to their crowded minds as easily as he had to holding a lightsaber. But the Force pulsed in a way that was not to be ignored—it was bright red, angry and in pain, and he had to trust that his instincts were leading him down the right path in order to confront it.

"Fulfilling my promise," he swore to Hux, marching down the hall as he felt his chest tighten with barely-concealed pain.

 _More than one victory._


End file.
